why wont my ex give me my stuff back?

[MissJenna0583]

I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 days ago, and immediately asked for my things back...after avoiding me and saying things like "i don't know", i kept on bugging him and he finally said that it would be awhile because he didn't know when he would have time off from work and how it would take a long time because I have a lot of stuff - I dont understand this - I don't want to wait to get my stuff back because it will make it that much harder to have to see him in acouple of weeks - what do you guys think? do you think hes waiting till this whole situation cools down?

[Tigris]

If you've got a key to the house go and collect your stuff. Oh, BTW take some friends or relatives with you just in case you need witnesses to verify what you have taken. Plus make two lists and leave one for him and push the key through the door as you leave.

 

Good luck and take care.

[Relationship Coach]

Control, it's all about control. He's hanging on to what ever he can, do not go over there alone to get your things.

 

RC

[LuvstuffNStuff]

Ok, first of all, how important are these things?? is it something thats worth the loss, just to get him out out your life?? ANd if they are important, and you know when you can catch him at home, call the police and have them follow you over there to collect your things and to make sure he dont pull anything on you.......good luck

[acuraman]

He's probably hanging on to your stuff to get back at you for breaking up with him, or he could be using it as an advantage for you to keep in contact with him. He knows if he returns your stuff, you'll stop calling him.

[Dannysgirl]

Its a way of keeping the lines of communication open and keeping SOME form of control over the whole thing because he has no power over the fact that you dumped him. I had the exact thing happen to me a few years ago the guy in question ended up slashing my clothes to ribbons and stealing anything I had of value when he realised that I was not going to change my mind.

Its best to go strict NC with this guy and get other people to arrange to get your stuff on your behalf at least then he knows there is no hope. I would also get them to threaten him with police action if he doesn't hand your stuff over.

I had no contact with this guy after I broke up with him and gave my father his number to arrange the collection of my stuff, he kept agreeing to give it back but then would not be there when my father went to get it.

Basically he had no intention of giving it back and keeping it was just his way of excercising control because he lost control of me when I broke up with him. He finally went mental when I told him that he in fact had NO control over the situation, NO control over me and never would again whether he kept my stuff or not.

If you can, try to forget about the stuff you left there believe me its not worth it I went through a LONG court wrangle about it and all I got in the end was my computer that he had put a load of viruses onto and was useless anyway. Just walk away.