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So I just am writing here because I feel horrible. A simple dating thing turned into major drama and now neither of us are talking to each other, and I have to admit, I didn't handle things in a way that would promote us to be on a talking basis. Now I fear he thinks I'm some sort of psycho or something, when I know I'm not, I just made rash decisions and acted impulsively.

 

Sigh.

 

I feel horrible.

 

Basically, he didn't want a relationship but didn't put that out there at the front, and then he just treated me carelessly but had reasons for it and made me feel like i was being demanding or something. but i was just asking for basic respect. anyways, he is immature, he didn't care about me, he didn't keep his promises, he never had any intentions to see me as serious dating material even though lots of people i know think i'm a totally awesome person, i did lots of things for him but he still treated me like crap. and his brother got involved in the mix, extending the drama out even to some of my friends, making me blush bright red just at the thought of how that all happened and just got worse, and worse, and worse, and worse, to the point that i'm sitting here, knowing that there is nothing i can do to make the situation better at all, and that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore and doesn't intend to own up to any of the stuff he did wrong in order to reconcile anything, but just in his mind will blame me 100% for being some kind of freak or something.

it just makes me not want to date ever again. the last guy i dated was really abusive towards me. and the guy before that was my first love, but that also ended in disaster, but nothing like this, because we are still friends, but there are scars from that.

i had a messed up family situation, no family really, i'm just so sad because i feel like i'll never know what love is, even though i'm such a loving and caring person, i feel like i'll never have a family.

i feel horrible about how at the end of all this i ended up sending too many emails, but it was just because at first i got mad, then a friend said i should apologize, so i sent an email apologizing, and then someone called me and told me about his racist side, so i sent an email to him and his brother about that... so then i look like i'm psycho or something.

why couldn't i control myself better? i know i don't really want to be his friend but i definitely never wanted this much drama.

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i'm just so sad because i feel like i'll never know what love is, even though i'm such a loving and caring person, i feel like i'll never have a family.

 

It may seem like that now but get over this guy, ignore any further stuff that might come up from him and the situation and move on. The sooner you can get past all this, the sooner you will be able to find some one who does love you as you want.

 

Don't dwell on this - it won't help you. Learn from it and move on.

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oh, i'm sorry sweetie... i totally know what u are going through... and alot of times people don't know what they have right in front of them until they lose it. Life sucks sometimes. Remember what dosen't kill you will only make you stronger. Thats what I live by now.... that no matter how hard it gets.. I just keep getting stronger and stronger emotionally. Don't ever settle. You'll find someone that will treat you like a princess.. which is what you deserve. Sorry you're going through this... feel free to PM me anytime you want to talk

-Shorty

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yes you are right. but i feel like i'm a freak or something. i feel horrible that i let all of that happen. it's not even about him, except i know that eventually i'll run into him again at a cultural center that i frequent (i'm good friends with the owner and i hooked up him up there with an art show), so... when i run into him, do i ignore him????

i don't even like him, believe me, he never showed me any love. it's just about me and how could i let someone who didn't care about me drive me so crazy.

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