this can't be normal...

[ncallum]

I'm not a virgin (I had occasional sex during a 2 year long distance relationship), but I'm terrified of sex all the same. There are two real problems: sex doesn't stimulate me all that much, and on the rare occasions that it does, I can only have one orgasm, then my penis goes weak and I find it very difficult to get an erection again. I could only have sex once a night (if that).

 

Whether this is a psychological thing or not I don't know, but it's impacting on my quality of life. It makes it extra difficult for me to talk to girls and I feel as though I can't embark on another relationship for as long as this remains a problem.

 

Can anyone offer any advice.

 

Thanks

[NJRon]

Are you circumcized? I have heard that some guys who are have lost feeling. I can't really suggest anything except that you speak with a doctor about that part. I know you said sex, but wonder if it also pertains to masturbation. If it is *only* sex that doesn't stimulate you, is it due to a lack of physical or mental stimulation. If you don't get physical stuimulation from sex, yet you are fine with masturbating, perhaps you two just don't fit well. If it is more mental, that could be based on the anxiety.

 

As for your performance issue, anxiety will definitely have an impact there. It's a catch22 also, the more you have anxiety, the more of an issue and the more anxiety. You definitely need to get over that. Perhaps, if you can find a doctor that can offer some assistance or understanding, then the rest will fall into place.

[Dako]

It's a wonder you can get that far if you're terrified!

Sounds like stage fright or performance anxiety.

[Tigris]

The only way you're going to get to the bottom of the problem is to make an appointment and talk to your doctor about it.

 

I hope everything goes ok.

 

Good luck and take care.

[AlwaysConfused]

I definitely agree- talk to your doctor. See what he has to say.

 

But on the other side - everyone is nervous in the beginning. Know that she probably is too and work from there. You could discuss your anxiety with her and perhaps not have more not needed anxiety.