Bored housewife

[AwdreeHpburn]

Sounds saucy, I know but believe me, it is anything but.

 

I am soooo bored with my life right now. And its not because I am not busy. I have three kids, we run a business from our home, my husband works full time outside of the home, I freelance write part time...we're always busy. But sometimes, I find myself thinking about ex-boyfriends from highschool, ok one in particular...or imagine I will run off to Europe to start a new life serving coffee to people I can't speak to.

 

I love my husband and children. I just think I'm bored and a bit depressed. I have a feeling things will get easier as the kids get older and more independent but I don't want to be one of those happiness chasers. Things will get better when... I'm sure I'll be happy when...

 

Anyone else out there ever been through this? Any advice?

[onmyownagain]

I think marriage is like that after some time. The thing is, what do you do to try to make it more exciting? It takes two to tango and if you do run off do you think you will suddenly be some exciting person? You arn't now are you?

 

I have just got back with my wife (she told me to leave a few months ago) and believe me, she is pleased to have her boring husband back now!

[NJRon]

You know what? I've had the same fantasy about serving coffee in a foreign country too!

 

Being busy doesn't equal excitement. You can be just as bored running all over the place as you can sitting in a dark room twiddling your thumbs. As hard as it may be, you might really think about planning a vacation for you and your husband. Sometimes, you need to take a break and smell the roses... remember why you are living in the first place. It's not to do stuff... it's to enjoy life

 

At the very least, do something spontaneous just for enjoyment, something that ideally involves both of you.

[AwdreeHpburn]

well thanks guys. it is certianly good to have a male perspective. i do agree a vacation is in order. I think i need a break.

 

Thanks!

[ShySoul]

A vacation, change of pace, change of scenery is in order. That should do wonders.

 

If you are feeling bored, its probably because things are too routine. There is probably some longing you have, some dreams of yours that is unfilled and you are wishing you could be free to explore those dreams. You are wishing back to days when you could explore them.

 

You will be able to explore more options as time passes. In the meantime, find happiness in the simple things. When the kids are grown, you will probably miss these times. So cherish them now. And see each day as an adventure, because you never know what kids will do next.

[adideas]

I once heard that BUSY stands for being under satan's yolk.

 

Kind of true I guess. I am always busy with my kid, we own two businesses and have been together for nearly 19 years. Only lately have I decided that it's is important to really focus on the things that satisfy me and my family the way I used to focus on it when I was younger. There will always be work, dishes, a basketball game to take my kid to but what really is fulfilling?

 

Do the rocking chair test, pretend you're 80 and in your rocking chair looking back at your life-- what do you remember? what did you do right? what would you have changed? NOW go do that. You only get one life--live it the way that will make you happy.

[Ash]

It's often an oxymoron, life is busy and boring at the same time. You keep busy, but it's largely routine. The mind dissengages from the task at hand often and goes soaring off somewhere entirely different.

 

At least, that's what happens to me. I have entirely too much to do, to be honest. I can't possibly get everything done that I take on, get a decent night's sleep. Yet, I can get incredibly bored at the same time, so yep, it certainly happens. And I suspect it happens a lot more than we sometimes realize.

 

Changes in routine can certainly help. Change the way certain things are done. Change the sequence. If you have a few minutes when you're driving through town, even turning left, instead of right can help. You'll see new things, different places, perhaps a new coffee shop that you knew of by name, but haven't ever gone there becuase you didn't know where it was, or know what it looked like. Drop somebody else's kids off after soccer or hockey to see a new neighbourhood, get a different perspective on things. Sounds silly, but sometimes that kind of thing can stimulate different ideas. Simple things like change the furniture around can help.

 

I know this may all seem a bit silly when compared to the concept of jetting off somewhere exotic to do unusual things. It's tough, I know. I did the unspeakable, incorrect, ultimately wrong thing when I got too bored and went and lost my marriage. Oops, entirely a very bad thing to have happened.

 

Hopefully you're not bored in that sense, although some thought on the matter may not be out of hand. Do you talk to your husband about what goes on after the kids are in bed? Is that a satisfied part of your life? If not, perhaps it could be addressed. You'd be surprised sometimes what goes unsaid. Talking about it can help.

 

Perhaps a vacation away would help. I have found in the past that being away from life as I know it for more than two weeks leaves me wanting to return to the things that are familiar. Generally the issue here can be money, and of course if running your own business, leaving can simply mean a loss of income and a potential loss of clients. Something to be weighed out against the positives.

 

But ... perhaps now is the time to do something that you've always figured you'd like to do one day but have never taken the time. Especially as you say since you're bored and depressed. Don't let the depression take you over. Face it head on, figure out what's driving it, and drop us all a line here (as you are doing and have done in the past) and see if any one of us has a bright idea dealing with either specifics or generalities.

[Darketernal]

I play runescape link removed to free myself from boredome. Maby not what you seek but oh well just my 2 cents.

[GottaLetItBurn]

Lol, you give me hope that this girl from my highschool, since we broke contact after she went back to her ex. Will one day be married thinking about what could have been.

 

Anyway, sounds like you need to go on some vacation. A Disney Cruise, or Role play with your husband. Spice something up, get into salsa dancing with him.

 

You got to get into something, develope some sort of passion.