Too Sensitive?

[KileOriginal]

Alright, this is going to sound like a real wussy post, but I need to bring it up.

 

As some might remember I was still overcoming a hard break up a few months ago, and while I don't think I'll ever be fully resolved I have tried to move on and start dating again.

 

I'm a 22 college student, male.

 

For as long as I've lived I've always had a deep concern for the people around me and have also been deeply affected by how they treat me. My siblings and parent's used to call me "the sensitive one."

 

An annoying nickname, but it is true that at the heart of my being I really care about people and want things to be well for everyone.

 

Now I have to say it because I'm sure some idiot jerk is either gonna think I'm gay or a wuss. Which is pretty much the exact opposite from the truth.

 

I love woman like crazy, and when motivated by the right things I like to fight, but having said that, I do come off alot as being just a nice guy.

 

Its not something I can really help, I try to put on a stern and resolute face, but I am easily hurt emmotionally by the people around me, especially people I care about or am interested in.

 

It torments me, that so many guys around me seem to go around without a thought about other people and can be so insensitive. And yet...

 

... it seems these same guys that don't care about anyone else and mistreat people seem to do alot better than I do in dating.

 

I have no trouble introducing myself to new people and even making friends, but that's as far as it ever goes for me. I have a phone full of girls' numbers who are all "just friends."

 

That kills me.

 

Some how caring about someone in earnest and being interested in a serious romantic relationship makes me less attractive.

 

I don't do anything stupid like sacrifice my dignity to a girl or go extra out of my way to show I like them, it just seems that my very mannerisms give away the fact that I easily become emotionally invested in other people.

 

Of the few relationships I have had, they tended to be relatively long term (2 -3 years), both physically and emotionally intimate, and either ended by drastic circumstances (ie. moving far far away) or ended with some emotional turmoil. While passionate, we did have our long periods of just being calm and domestic and starting to look towards the future.

 

There were also a few very short term relationships which I did not count here.

 

Now when I look back on previous relationships, I try to learn from them how I was able to get involved and it always seemed that it was mere chance and alot of luck that got things started.

 

I'm tired of just waiting for another chance that may never come. I intend to take my fate into my own hands or at least help guide myself to better fortunes. But it seems my sensitivity to other people and what I'm feeling are not of help to me in anyway, and may probably be a serious character flaw in me.

 

Anyway, sorry for the long post, thanks for reading it if you did.

 

Let me know what your thoughts are on this. Am I right, are there things I can do differently, am I doomed to a life of unrequited love...

[serve_the_people]

Well, I read your post, and I think I understand how you are feeling because you are a lot like me. LIke you, I also care deeply about people, and I am annoyed at people who don't show compassion for others. Also, I do have strong emotionally feelings for many people.

 

But that doesn't neccessarily have to mean that people think you are weak. Many people respect me. They look up to me, and make me thier leader. Just because you are emotional doesn't mean you are weak....or a wussy. Being a man sometimes means being in touch with your emotions.