Well, It's Over. I am torn

[romanticlover]

Well I did the infamous drive by last night and her car was not there. i kind aknew where she would be anyways. I got home logged on my messenger and within a few minutes she logged on. She messaged me and said hello, how r u. I kinda knew she was a bit typsy cause she kept sending me all these funny icons. I tild her I missed her and she said she did too. She said thanks for giving her her space and she apppreciated it. I tild her I loved her, missed seeing her, etc etc and she said the same. She didn't say she loved me tho. It was late and we had to go sleep. She sent me a kiss and said we'll talk soon. Hmmmmmmm.......what to think. See how she is grateful for me giving her her space, meanwhile she is going out getting trashed. She doesn't seem grateful for me saying anything sweet to her. Seems as all she cares about is herself and her damn space. Space for what??????? To go out and just be away from me to have fun? Are there some serious issues with this gorl or is it just me?

[GreatGuy]

Hang in there.....we've all been there and you've read it all. Now its time for you to go through it all ...alone....be strong we're here for you. If you must let it out, cry and allow yourself to feel things. I lost my father back 7 years ago...and that pain is still there, believe me it hurts. When my girl comes and goes...it hurts, i cry-breath, think of my dad and that pain puts things in perspective. The GREATEST HUMAN LIE is the worlwide notion that we're meant to be with one person...for ever. But nothing last forever, everything changes...people too...move on, come back later....ect

 

If someone told us that TRUTH when we were groing up, maybe we'd stop holding on so much, waiting and hoping for that day when we meet "that" special one to stay with us forever...ever...and ever. But while we wait for that day, many many many special things are coming and going out of our lives. Life is short and is meant to be shared with others. Not on "that special day", but maybe everyday for every day we have on this physical planet.

 

I cry...because no one told me that...nothing last forever. When we are born, we die someday, to be born again. Next time you meet someone(could be today) remember its not forever, only its for now. Enjoy all they have to offer and be better than yesterday.

[romanticlover]

Well............this is very tough for me. I just had another im chat conversation with my ex. I told her we needed to talk about us. She said nothing has changed since 3 days ago when we last had out chat. Things started to get heated and mayb it's my fault. I know she needed her space, but stupid me had to bring us up. She said i'm sorry you are hurt, but my feelings have not changed. I said I could never treat the one I love that way and she got all annoyed with me. I just can't take it anymore. She is selfich and just totally messed up. I NEED to move on with no hopes of us getting back 2gether. I asked her what this "space" will do for her, us. She said I know u r hurt, but it doesn't change anything. I said what do u need this space for and she said MEEEEE.......SO i said enjoy your free time and just ended the conversation. I went onto ,yspace and did the hardest thing yet. I took all her pictures down, changed my status to single, took her off my top 8 friends list. IS that rude or messed up of me? I actually feel bad cause she still has pics of us up, says we r in a relationship. What should I do? I feel I disrespected her by doing that, meanwhile she is playing major head games with me. UGHHHHHHHH...I feel anger, hurt, and other emotions. What should I do about this?

[ShySoul]

She needs space to do her personal * * * * and yet she has no problem going out to party

 

Could be two things. She could be a total jerk (I could say a word that rhymes with twitch) and not care about your feelings. That's a possibility and I won't lie about it. But I find that more often people try to move on faster as a way of dealing with how they feel. Or more accurately, avoiding dealing with how they feel. They want to avoid issues, so they think that if they act like they are having a good time, the feelings they have inside will go away. Really saw this in my dad, when my parents got divorced a couple years ago. He was hurting, I could tell. And he even admitted it once. But he didn't want to face it, so he put all the blame on my mom, found himself another women and got engaged in a month. He was happy on the outside, but hurting on the inside.

 

If she is going out and getting drunk, I wouldn't look at it as fun. It appears that way on the outside, but I doubt she is really feeling it on the inside. Again, dad did the same thing, spending time at the bar getting drunk.

 

She couldn't say she loved you, as that would be dealing with things. It would bring up feelings she doesn't know how to say.

 

You weren't wrong for taking her pictures down and all of that. This is hurting you and you don't need to be hanging in limbo. You are still treating her nice and being supportive, which is good. But at the same time, its just breaking your heart every time you talk to her. Putting up you are single is an important step in dealing with your feelings and moving on. You will always care about her in some ways, and you probably won't be ready for anything serious with another person for awhile. But you needed to do that for your own sanity and mental helath. If need be, don't talk to her. I know its difficult to see her name online and want to say hi. I still feel a panic when I see my girls name. But if you talking to her makes you more upset, then give it some time. I was finally able to have a decent conversation with her, first in around 4 months. It takes time, but eventually you will feel better and hopefully be able to talk to her without feeling as you do now. Take as long as you need.

[romanticlover]

Shy, guess what. She changed her pics around and put 2 new ones of me up there and kept another. She has 3 pics of me up there, and still says we r in a relationship. I ended up changing my stuff back that way also. I had a friend tell me something that was really helpful. I took that stuff down out of spite. I told my friend this and she said do it when your heart it ready and not out of spite. If I feel like I should, then do it if my heart is ready. My heart is not ready to make these harsh actions. I actually felt really bad considering she still has info on me and us up still. I know she is being selfish and going out, but why sould she still keep me around. If she has no respect for me to call me, see me, etc etc, then how can she still show things about us in other ways? Really confusing and hurtful to me. I would rather see her take me down and say she is single. I think how would she feel if she saw I took my stuff down of her. I just wish I could just not worry about this whole thing and not be jealous or upset. I get very jealous at times knowing she is out dancing with other guys, partying and I am home miserable. Why isn't she sooo upset that she can't go out. This is what confuses me. I feel lost again.

[ShySoul]

You are confused right now, understandable. She isn't clear what she wants and what you are to her. So half the time you hate her for being like this, the other half you still want to be with its. Your emotions are like a yo yo, going back and forth. Sorry its like this.

 

You have to run the gauntlet of emotions and see where it takes you. If you aren't ready to take down the pictures, then don't. I couldn't let go of my girl just like that, and I don't think you will either. When everyone was telling me to not have hope, I still did. Follow your heart, and when you feel its time to let go, then you can take the pictures down.

 

It's hard, I know. But you are strong and a good guy. You'll get through it. Just wish she would help you out a bit more.