Why are girls so confusing?

[Jay-Sean]

i posted on this topic a couple of times now ages ago, where i liked a girl and i thought she liked me. Well i thought it would never happen so i put her to the back of my mind and move on.

 

Well the whole story is that i really got the impression that she liked me, i always thought i caught her staring at me and looking for me and she always i thought tried to talk to me. I'm not proud of it but i got angry the other week with her and said something to her that was out of order and she looked genuinly upset like she was about to cry if you know what i mean

 

So i sort of asked her out but she thought i was lying and wasn't being serious because i'm hardly ever serious i sort of make a joke about everything. Then over the christmas period we didn't talk and i had basically moved on. Well over the past two weeks shes been sort acting all flirty with me again and shes is kind of like that with a lot of people but i feel that she always wants to talk to me i can't explain it i just get a feeling that she is interested in me.

 

The reason i think she might not like is because her friends say she is quite fickle when it comes with boys. We only ever talk at school and she has never pushed the issue of talking outside of school (MSN or Phone number) so thats a major drawback. I'm not very good looking at all she is easily the top 5 in my year and maybe she doesn't want to go out with someone ugly.

 

I can't ask for her MSN now because i think the reason she might like is because i act a bit un iterested in her and normally boys are throwing themselves at her.

 

Sorry its so long its just a big problem, thanks for reading it.

[DN]

Just tell her that you thnk you may have given her the wrong impression, that you do like her and would like to ask her out.

[NJRon]

At least say you want to keep in touch with her and ask for her MSN.

[Miss M]

I'm not very good looking at all she is easily the top 5 in my year and maybe she doesn't want to go out with someone ugly.

Has she given you a concrete reason to draw that conclusion? Or is that something you're imagining? You're probably able to judge her preferences better than I can, but I just want to point out that all good-looking girls aren't necessarily looking for a guy who is equally as good-looking. It all depends on the girl, and you shouldn't automatically reject yourself based solely on how physically attractive she is.

 

I can't ask for her MSN now because i think the reason she might like is because i act a bit un iterested in her and normally boys are throwing

I've also had a lot of guys throw themselves at me, and I've often bypassed them and went for the guy who was acting less interested. For some girls, all that attention gets old real fast. Again, I don't know what type she is. Does she seem to be enjoying all of that attention? Or does she look bored... or tortured? I hated being in the spotlight and often went for the kind of guy who didn't make a big deal out of how I looked.

[Jay-Sean]

Well on the issue of me being quite ugly, is that maybe she might not want to go out with me cos of what her friends might say thats a guess but shes one of these people who will focus on the good not the bad so she might not mind that im not that great looking.

 

I think she really enjoys the attention that she gets but because i act like she isn't a big deal she seems more interested in me that way, i've put myself in awkward situation because if i ask for like her MSN address she will know im interested properly and might go off me.

 

Sometimes i think shes well into but then she seems to go off me a bit then comes back and is well interested in me its like a game.

[Tigris]

She may not be as confident about herself as you seem to think? That's probably the reason for the 'on, off' effect. If you haven't already done so apologise for your recent outburst of anger and then give her your MSN address, or ask her out, etc.

 

Good luck

[Miss M]

Well on the issue of me being quite ugly, is that maybe she might not want to go out with me cos of what her friends might say thats a guess but shes one of these people who will focus on the good not the bad so she might not mind that im not that great looking.

Does she seem to care what her friends say about her dating choices? I was considered attractive, but I can't ever remember consulting my friends' opinions about who I should date based on attractiveness. So you're saying she doesn't seem to make a distinction in that way? The myth (and the assumption) is that good-looking people are only looking for someone who is equally good-looking. Yes, there are some attractive people who do that. And there are also some who base their choices on other factors besides physical attractivenss, (e.g wit, humor, intelligence, common interests, kindness, compassion, thoughtfulness, generosity). Likewise there are some unattractive people who are only attracted to good-looking people, and some unattractive ones who don't make it a high priority. I'm suggesting that being attractive doesn't automatically make a person want an attractive partner, and if you assume that she does want someone equally attractive, you're just projecting your beliefs onto her.

 

I think she really enjoys the attention that she gets but because i act like she isn't a big deal she seems more interested in me that way,

Ok, this is confusing, at least for me. The fact that she's interested in you when you don't give her the attention makes you think she LIKES the attention? I would come to the exact opposite conclusion. If she really likes the attention, wouldn't she just skip past you and choose a guy who gave her attention? I was more interested in the guys who didn't give me the attention because I really hated all that attention. Or maybe you believe she's only interested in you because your lack of attention makes her want it more? I guess that's a possibility. And is it possible that she likes some other qualities she sees in you?

 

i've put myself in awkward situation because if i ask for like her MSN address she will know im interested properly and might go off me.

But if you do NOT ask for her address, then you're automatically passing up a chance for a relationship with her. If you play hard to get too long, then you might miss your chance. Is that really what you want to do? And are you just gonna accept defeat without even giving it an effort?

 

Sometimes i think shes well into but then she seems to go off me a bit then comes back and is well interested in me its like a game.

If she's playing games, then you might be better off bypassing her no matter how she looks. Or maybe you also like games?