Royltnxile Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 How can I tactfully tell my g/f that she wears too much make up? She's a very pretty lady without it, but she wears too much most of the time. I'm a 39 year old man dating a 47 year old woman. She can easily pass for late 30's or so, but IMO, when she cakes on the eye and face make up she looks her age and older? She's beautiful without it!..and I like it when she looks younger. How do I tactfully suggest that she wears less make up without offending her or hurting her feelings? Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Tough one, the best thing to do is compliment her when she is NOT wearing it.....tell her you love how fresh and natural she looks in the morning when she is not wearing it for example. A lot of times women wear it as they feel unconfident without it, it's their "mask", however letting her know you think she truly glows without it, may boost her confidence and have her wearing less in no time. As a gift you could also get her a facial with makeup, and they will do it much more understated, and she might learn from it - women as they age forget their makeup needs change too and need some help relearning now and then. Then she will still be wearing it, but more naturally. Link to comment
Scout Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Hmmm...does she really cake it up and put way too much on? Or do you generally prefer no make up? Be honest! And then I can give you my opinion on how to handle this based on your answer. Link to comment
Scout Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Well, I thought about it anyway, and either way...her first thought if you say make up makes her look older is, why are you dating an older woman then?? And she's going to be really self-conscious about her looks with or without make up from that point forward. I should say that she is only going to get older...if the appearance of age is really a put-off for you, you should take that into consideration. Link to comment
Royltnxile Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 Good idea RayKay. Scout, she wears too much eye make up, and even though she tans, she still puts the powder and blush on. Link to comment
Scout Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Do you think she should just tone it down then? If so, you could tell her I suppose...but I agree, it's a difficult topic to find the right balance of tact. Hmmm, I guess if she doesn't get the subtle hints that RayKay is suggesting, there might come a point where you might want to say (only if you really, really can't stand how it looks): "I hope we can be honest about certain uncomfortable things. For example, if you thought I wore certain clothes that weren't flattering, you'd let me know. Because...and please don't be upset by this, I think you're absolutely gorgeous...but I'm wondering if you would ever consider toning down your make up a bit? I think you're camoflauging your natural beauty. Of course, I don't you to take this as controlling, so if I'm out of line, I honestly apologize." As you can see, you'll have to take a very, very conciliatory tone here in order to not offend her. Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Yup, that discussion would require a LOT of tact for sure. I know someone whom dated a girl for a while who LOVED wearing the colour pink. Lots of it. The truth was he really hated pink, and really did not think it looked good on her at all. So I know where you are coming from....it's hard to say "I love you, you are beautiful, but this part of you is a turn off"....be prepared she may take a dig at you in return as a defensive mechanism but handle it wisely by taking her concerns in, and again reiterating it is not a criticism of her, but rather a.....desire to see HER, not her Revlon collection. Maybe phrase differently though! Link to comment
Scout Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Well, I am going to have a similar problem when summer hits...because my boyfriend only wears Converse shoes! All the time! And I love sandals, and want him to wear them, but he said he hates them. So, I'm keeping quiet for now, but come summer time...lol... Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Well, I am going to have a similar problem when summer hits...because my boyfriend only wears Converse shoes! All the time! And I love sandals, and want him to wear them, but he said he hates them. So, I'm keeping quiet for now, but come summer time...lol... Start him off easy with Converse sandals, and break him in to the transition! link removed Link to comment
Scout Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 No way! I didn't even know they made Converse sandals, LMAO!! Unfortunately the only male ones on that page are the "Flame Clogs." He's really gonna go for that... Link to comment
Scout Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I was a bit off track on the sandals, but I saw a parallel in that I was going to ask my boyfriend at one point to change something about his physical appearance, too. Anyway, I think you gave some additional good advice about how to handle this issue with his girlfriend. Link to comment
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