tried calling to see if she was ok and it back fired

[kickedin]

follow up to "do i give in" i called her yesterday and said hey its me i didnt like how we left things and i had sent you two texts and no reponse i want to know that you are ok since we havent talked in like 10 days......15 mins later her brother call(close friend to me) and says dude what are you doing my sister says you are calling and playing on her emotions and setting her back......i said are you serious i spent a lot of time with her and its ok for her to call me 2 weeks ago and see how i am doing now since we got into a fight and broke up again i cant do the same.....hes like you are being overbearing....i laughed i sent her a text saying thinking of you...thats overbearing? he said she asked for space please respect that....shes fragile and going through alot with handling her divorce...he said you know what you guys shared so go off that and if it is meant to be it will....sometimes we have to let go....i said for crying outloud i was just checking on her...he accused me of wanting some kind of response and that she told him i dont text him back he will think i dont care if i do it will start all over again" he said she obviously has feelings for you but needs to handle this stuff and requires her space....

 

i have so much to say on so many levels and the bottom line is she was out at bar with him the day after we broke up.....but she so fragile or distraught she can't call me....now i am being painted as a bad guy and i feel like i should tell him hey your sister drug me through the coals enjoying how nice i was to her and promising me the world for the past year and now its like oh i am so fragile i need everyone to give me space........please i think she is covering up becaus eshe got in too deep with me and knew she wasnt ready but enjoyed it......is now acting like she cant handle anything so noone will look at how she hurt me.....and here i am trying to justify my actions along with hers and its like just let go.......

 

question......if she says i am playing on her emotions or setting her back why not call me yourself and just say hey this is hard for me too i need to finish this divorce and whatever happens happens.....or work it out? i am so lost because i overanalyze everything and i feel that her family is blocking for her and she is allowing it.....i just love the girl and i am letting go at this point but very confused and still hurting.........because we always had a bond and a good line of communication until her family stepped in which no one will admit that they did

[coooolsome]

Let her go. It is true what he said, if she doesnt respond, you think she doesnt care and if she does, you think its a green light. She needs her space and if you want her back give it to her. She has things she needs to figure out and you are a constant reminder of the guilt and pain she has right now. I didnt give my ex space and I pushed her away. Dont do the same thing.

[kickedin]

i also feel that she is going out and possible having casual non committal relationships with guys becaus ethat is safe for her......he wont admit but i know thats all she can handle and that hurts me because she knows what i want and it may be too much for her right now which is fine but the thought of her striking up any kind of relationship with someone new guy...while going through a divorce after ditching me would be hypocritical and downright screwed up.......why not just keep it casual with me....and say i am waiting for you and would bever think about another guy.....3 days before we broke up she says" i love you so much...morethen anyone even my husband".....blah blah blah......and this is what you call love? running away? now you can see why it would hurt me if shes out hanging with other guys

[kickedin]

Let her go. It is true what he said, if she doesnt respond, you think she doesnt care and if she does, you think its a green light. She needs her space and if you want her back give it to her. She has things she needs to figure out and you are a constant reminder of the guilt and pain she has right now. I didnt give my ex space and I pushed her away. Dont do the same thing.

 

she said that to him....."if i dont respond yadda yadda yadda"

 

its hard for me to comprehend what shes going through because i always believe when you say you love someone SOOOO much why would you push them away? someone give me some insight on that one?

[Bethany]

i always believe when you say you love someone SOOOO much why would you push them away?

 

You need to ask yourself in that. Why would you keep texting and getting in touch when she wants space? By getting in touch you ARE pushing her away.

 

You may not think you doing anything wrong and I certainly dont think you are the bad guy here but you ARE intruding on that space she needs. Every time you contact her your pushing her further away and it will take even longer for her to recover and be herself again. As hard as it is, let her be. When she is ready, she will come to you.