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To Break NC or NOT to break NC

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Some of you have been following my story... my ex ended it on saturday telling me that he needs time to figure out his life (he's been through a lot and continues to go through a lot) but said he still wants to see me, keep getting to know me, etc. he doesn't want to lose what we had.


This is my 3rd day in NC - last time we talked we made plans for this weekend to go to a concert - he said he would call this week and we'd get together, I know I am crazy, I haven't heard from him yet, I know it's only been 2 full days ... he seemed sincere in what he said .... but if I don't hear from him by friday...should I take the first step and contact him about the concert of just forget it?... because of everything that's going on in his life, I have always sort of been the one to take the lead on things... I once told him I could never be friends with an ex, but this situation is a bit different... I don't want him thinking I am gone for good... I do believe he still needs me even if it can't be in that way...

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Hey there,


I would wait for him to contact you. I know this is hard but it only makes sense for him to contact you instead of you contacting him. He did the inviting plus he was the one who asked for the space and time apart.


I understand there has been a lot of things going on his life but I still find it hard to stomach that it makes it ok to put you through all this and hurt you like he has been. I have always felt that good times AND bad times are supposed to bring people closer together instead of what he has been doing to you. I have read your earlier posts and he is looking for a relationship without all the responsibilites. I believe he is sincere about how he feels but this is no way fair you at all. He is looking out for his needs and not yours.


Personally, I would not go to the concert even if he did call you. To me, going to this concert and doing other activities gives him permission to keep you at bay while he goes and "figures things out." It is so not fair to you at all. Since he is focusing on his needs, maybe it is time for you to do the same. And going to this concert, IMO, is NOT looking out for your needs and feelings. But it is totally up to you, I am just offering you my suggestions.


I really hope things work out for you. I know this is not easy for the both of you but it boils down to is he with you or isn't he? I think it may be time for you to force him to figure that one out. Force, I mean, lay low for awhile. He may realize that indeed he needs you in his life but he can't do that if you at his beck and call. Take care and let us know how you are doing. Big hugs.

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right now I don't think he's capable of knowing what he wants or doesn't want. He didn't tell me he didn't want to see me anymore, he asked for us to lower the expectations a little because all he can give to me right now is what he's been giving... so it's a bit different than the average break up... anyway... we'll see ... I may contact anyway if it turns out bad then I know for sure he's just trying to blow me off nicely.

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