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Ex visits and I tell him a big secret-UPDATE

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Names in between asterisks (*) are not the people's real names.


So my ex called me on Saturday to tell me that he was trying to find a brother (he's a sigma nu) who would lend him their car so that he could come visit. My friend *George* told me later on that a guy we both graduated with had called him and was stranded in Atlanta and wanted to know if I wanted to go with him to get him (we all go to UGA together) and in the meantime see my ex *Daniel*. I said yes and called *Daniel* to let him know that instead of coming here I was just going to go to Atlanta so he didn't have to worry about getting a car anymore. So an hour and a half later I arrive at his frat house. I see him coming up the street but instead of waiting for him I yell to him that I'll meet him inside because it was cold. When he comes in he sees me sitting on the couch and goes to give me a hug. He loses his balance and falls on top of me. We both smile at eachother and I could tell he wanted to kiss me and I wanted him to. I was glad when he did.


There was a liquor party that night at his house so I ended up drinking. Before I say anything else I am no newbie to drinking. It actually takes a lot to get me drunk; I am quite the female heavy weight. Anyway, I drank some tequila with margarita mix and proceeded to drink all kinds of beers the rest of the night. I was drunk. It was the drunkest I've ever been in my life. I could honestly say that I've never been so drunk that I threw up until last night. Anyway, at one point *Daniel* and I went to the bathroom and he came in to check on me and make sure I was ok. I don't remember what triggered it but I started crying. He told me to come out so that we could talk. We went to a shack in the back of the house and talked. We talked for a long time. In a previous post I stated that I told enotaloners that I had something I'd been keeping to myself my entire life. It came out. I told *Daniel* that I had been molested. I could not stop crying. He would ask me questions and I would try my best to answer but it all was accompanied by tears and sobs. The reason I never told anyone was because I thought no one would believe me and because I didn't want to cause tension between family members (it was my oldest cousin who "did it"). He was amazing. He just held me close and told me that it wasn't my fault that it happened to me and that he believed me. After the conversation started dying I started feeling sick and eventually puked over the railing by the shack. I only puked a little bit and only puked once but it did me a hell of a lot of good. I felt so much better. There *Daniel* was, though, holding my hair and rubbing my back and making sure that I was ok.


After that we walked back to the house because it was getting late and we were both tired. I went to the bathroom to put some water in a cup so that I could get the feeling of acid out of my throat. He came in with me. I looked at myself in the mirror and pointed out that I looked like crap (which I did). He answered that I was beautiful.


We went to "the pit", which is a room in the basement of the frat house, and slept on the same beanbag together. Even after having been throwing up and looking ugly he still held me and kissed me and told me he loved me and that he would never leave my side.


I think we're going to be ok. He said that now that he had more free time he was going to be visiting me more often on the weekends. That made me so happy! It looks like things might just work out between us. I hope so because I love him so much. Like Owen Wilson said in the movie Wedding Crashers: "I saw this widow and she was a wreck. She has just lost the person she loved the most in this world and I realized we're all going to lose the people we love. That's how it is, but not me. Not now. Because the person I love the most is standing right here and I'm not ready to lose you yet." This is exactly how I feel about *Daniel* and I will fight until the end for him. To me, he is worth it.

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Well, apart from throwing up and a hangover it seems that some good came out of last night. He appears to be a fairly good guy. I am also glad that you felt able to tell him what happened to you, I hope that made you feel better about that horrible incident and maybe that will be less of a burden on you now. Your boyfriend is right - it was never your fault.


I hope all goes well for you both now. Keep us posted.

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