Not Being Myself

[MystikalDawn]

Hey, me and my girlfriend just got off the phone, she says that I don't talk much and that I don't act myself around her, she says she likes me and that she wouldnt be trying to work things out with me if she diddnt. Which I know is true. But I'm talking to her as much as I would talk to anyone. I'm kind of a shy person too. I act kind crazy around my friends but around her I'm kind of up-tight and am careful what I do or say because I don't want her to think I'm an idiot or anything. How does she expect me to loosen up around her if she keeps getting upset with me, that just makes me even more and more shy around her. She says I'm messing it up for myself. I really love her and I don't want to loose her. But I'm really shy around girls in general, not just girls that I like. She keeps telling me to act myself around her, but I think that I am acting myself because thats just the way I act around girls. Shes kind of an impatient girl, and shes told me before that she dosnt want to pressure me to do anyhting, but I feel that she is, I'm just wondering what you ppl think about my situation, do you guys think shes worth it or not???....thx

[DN]

Only you can decide if she's worth it. But she may find the way you act around your friends amusing and cool and wants to be with you when you are like that. Why not try doing that and see how she reacts.

[patience]

I agree with DN. She probably wants to experience the 'you' that your friends know and love.

[Bethany]

I act kind crazy around my friends but around her I'm kind of up-tight and am careful what I do or say because I don't want her to think I'm an idiot or anything.

 

I think you have the right to be yourself whenever you want to but if your just holding back because you are afraid of her thinking your an idiot... I think it's the idiot she wants and fell for. Hopefully you will feel ready to be this infront of her but if you can't yet...

 

Turn this around, Tell her that your 'crazy side' will appear as soon as he gets to know her 'crazy side'. Start teasing her and saying she must have one and you'd like to see it. Maybe then she will understand the pressure you have been feeling. Sometimes all we need to see is the other point of view.

[MystikalDawn]

I think you have the right to be yourself whenever you want to but if your just holding back because you are afraid of her thinking your an idiot... I think it's the idiot she wants and fell for. Hopefully you will feel ready to be this infront of her but if you can't yet...

 

Turn this around, Tell her that your 'crazy side' will appear as soon as he gets to know her 'crazy side'. Start teasing her and saying she must have one and you'd like to see it. Maybe then she will understand the pressure you have been feeling. Sometimes all we need to see is the other point of view.

 

Yea, but shes been showing me her "crazy side" from the beginning...Shes done some pretty serious stuff in the past...Illegal Drugs, Drinking (underaged) and that kind of stuff, And she still kind of drinks a bit today, but not neer as much. She tells me to act myself around her, and the way I see it...I am...I'm kind of a quite, gental, type of guy. Thats just the way I've always acted around girls. The way I see it, if she can't come to accept that I'm not gonna be "crazy" around her then...tough!. I think theres plenty of other nice girls out there that would like A quite, gental kind of guy. thx...tell me what you think about my decision.

[Bethany]

The way I see it, if she can't come to accept that I'm not gonna be "crazy" around her then...tough!. I think theres plenty of other nice girls out there that would like A quite, gental kind of guy. thx...tell me what you think about my decision.

 

I agree. If your being yourself isn't enough for her and she keeps pushing you, then you seem to have no option but to find someone who wants you for YOU, shy, quiet, mad, idiotic whatever.

[DN]

Bottom line - if she is making you unhappy or stressed then leave her and find someone who does not.

[patience]

Sounds like too much stress for a young man to have to deal with.

Maybe you would prefer a gentle girl? A "nice" girl?

Don't stay with her if you feel she is not the one for you right now.

Be honest with yourself, then honest with her.

[MystikalDawn]

Sounds like too much stress for a young man to have to deal with.

Maybe you would prefer a gentle girl? A "nice" girl?

Don't stay with her if you feel she is not the one for you right now.

Be honest with yourself, then honest with her.

 

Yes, I would like a nice and gental girl...someones whos a lot like me. Likes to take things slow, kind of romantic (I know this may sound fruity especially commin from a 16 yr old teenager...cause we all know that most guys my age only want one thing) but not me, and I'm actually proud of it.

[MystikalDawn]

Well, I'm sad to say that we just broke up. She said that she was sick of my "bull$hit" and that it seemed like all I thought about was me not getting hurt. But shes wrong there...I was actually seriously thinking about ending it as well. I know it would have hurt her...but in the long run I think it would be better then dragging a pointless relationship on and then ending it down the road where it would be ever worse. So I diddnt really know what to do. But she did...and she did it. I'm not mad at her and I respect her dicision but it still hurts...thx

[patience]

It sounds like this was for the best. She sounds kind of harsh actually.

There's a nice girl out there for you. Stay away from the mean ones.

 

You'll heal from this loss, and move on. Keep your heart open for the right kind of girl for you! It is really great that you know what sort of girl you want to be with...it will be that much easier to recognize her when you meet!

 

Good luck to you!

Keep us posted!

[arwen]

I agree with patience, and you sound like far too good for her. You have said it in a previous post, you are in fact looking for a girl with a lot of different characteristics, and as a female I can say... a lot of girls will in the end look for a guy like you. You are one of a kind, and should be proud of your high standards.

 

Ilse