Im used to being hurt....

[Broken_Doll_ParTs]

Hi everyone!

Im feeling a little lonely at the moment. Im having heaps of issues that i feel i cant cope with. The majority of my problems are with my parents. Im practically 20 and they still wont let me go out when i want. Its so stupid, Im not asking them to give me money so i can go out or anything, I do it on my own.

 

My dad is really pissed of at me from an icident that happened a few months ago. My ex gave out my mob number and got these girls to call and harass me, my dad then took my fone away...he complains that he had to pay $500 to get my number disconected. I didnt ask him to do that! I needed my phone!

 

I have a casual job which gets me through, I know how to spend and all, but I am looking for another job for some more luxuary, for example, I want to buy a new car!

 

Its my friends bday tonight, I saw her last night and we went to dinner with some other friends, they organised to go clubbing tonight and everyone said they hope i'l be there. I so despreatly wish i could go, but im not allowed!!

 

Oh on top of this, my dad keeps bringing up that i failed 1 unit at uni and he said that 'you pass one unit every year and fail everything else!" Which is very harsh, I havent done anything to them. I used to want to move out, but im not going to because that will make my parents look bad within our community and chruch. So I have decided to get the second job, Ive decreased my study load at uni, Im going to do chores and what not (so they cant say i dont contribute to anything)...BUT IM NOT GOING TO TALK TO MY PARENTS... by talk I mean Im not going to tell them whats happening in my life anymore, im not going to tell them anything about me. If they are interested they can ask, but Im not going to be the one bringing it up.

 

What do you think?

 

I know some people here wouldnt think its that bad, but the things my parents did to me yesterday...im embrassed to say! They really took it too far, they have no respect to me and my wishes...and they never listen to me when i try to sort things out. So i think if I do what i said earlier, this might just work. They have hurt me enough!! From when I was small to now, its my turn to take some control!!!!

[steff]

wow okay, i just had this same converstation with my sister like just 2 seconds ago... with my parents before we leave its the whole "where you going? whose going to be there? what are you going to do? what time are you going to be home..." and always complain that my sister is never home and everything, they want her to pay rent as well once she has finished uni, its pretty much what ur going through, we are told that we are not aloud to do things, i have to ask just to stay at a friends place and even then the answer is always "let me think about it" two days later "no" i think its just some parents are like that, and theres nothing that you can do... have u thought about moving out?

[musicguy]

my mom and I had this same convo last night

[Broken_Doll_ParTs]

really? What do you guys do about this? I mean Ive always wanted my own inderpendence and everything, I starve for it!

 

Steff, I have thought about moving out, but that would cause our cultural community to gossip about my parents. I dont really want that, but sometimes when Im really angry I feel like doing it.

 

Musicguy, what do you do about it?

 

Do you think if i stop talking to them and just do the chorse im given etc things will be better? Ive basically tried everything else (expet moving out)!

[steff]

yeah, doing the chores will make them happy, but it want stop them saying u cant go somewhere... i mean, they are only saying no for ur protection, their not saying no just so ur stuck at home with nothing to do. but the thing is your 19 years old, and your mature enough to say no to a guy or no to drugs or what ever else they are concerned about.

 

my parents really annoy my sister, to me it isnt as bad, because i dont go out as much as my sister, and my sister is 21. the way my sister has coped is by pretty much living at her boyfriends place (hasnt actaully moved in, just staying there alot) and by like coming home at 3 in the morning and getting up when mum and dad arnt at home.

 

for you that most likely isnt an option! i think you need to talk to them, write down a list of things that concern you the most (just so in the heat of the moment you dont forget vital points to get your message accross) your parents should have trust in you, that is important. talk to them about your feelings of not being aloud to go out.... do they have ur cell phone number??? do they know where you are going??? just try and talk to them first and see how it goes.... u dont have to tell them everything about you... you really dont, but tell them your feelings.

[elyella]

I am thirten and my parents do not let me go outanywhere,not even to my friends house which is about 1 block away!!!They say i am not mature enough.And they won't buy me a cellphone niether.That really pisses me.