is she flurting or she does like me? help me here I am getting eaten by this

[Massari]

sorry for this being long post , this is a little background information you need to know to understand my story] I think this girl enjoys messing around with my mind or the guys who she knows are nice to her and would easy fall for her because they misunderstand her flirting with her liking them. About a year ago this was when we had no physical contact with each other just seeing each other casually around the campus. I notice she was staring at me in the food court so on day she came and sits besides me in one of out lectures, (needed to say that at that time I liked this other girl for a loooong time and so I was kinda idiot and blind to not see that she likes me) so she seats beside me starts talking to me, we get introduced and so this is how it starts. So we talk and all.. (I figured me going after this other girl whom I liked/loved for a long time is not going to go anywhere, it wasn't mutual and she doesn't feel the same as I do. She was blinding me basically, I couldn't see any other girl, so then I got my sight back!) I knew I should ask this new girl out and chances are that she'll accept a date. So toward the end of the term closer to valentine day we exchanged MSN and she had my number, I didn't ask her number since she didn't have a cell.. she was 17or18 at the time. Well valentines day comes I ask her out.. here is what she said "It would be really something to go out with you and be more then a friend.. and I think you are a verryyy nice guy and I am not using that as an opening but I am just not looking for a relationship right now. I had this other guy friend who asked me out and I said I am not looking for a relationship and we never talked since then so I hope this doesn't happen with us, I really do not like the same thing happen between us. I was broke after than soooo unexpected, everyone was telling me she is into you, why don't I ask her out so yeah.. afew months after in summer school I was dating this other girl she saw me in school with her; both girls were in the same class and I was having physics with the one who said no "on valentines day let's call her "D"". Me and this new girl didn't go for long we weren't a good match, it asted like a week and I am glad. During that week D started to get very touchy with me.. hugging me kissing me on the chick.. calling me hun.. sweetie .. name it. One day she come she like .."heyyy I missed you.. where are you… do you try to ignore me?" and obviously I wasn't trying to do that, this is just not in me.. I cannot be mean to a girl so yeah.. so yeah this is pretty much where we stand.. it is now second year at university and she is my lab partner she is still doing the same stuff. Even more finding excuses to touch my hand and all.. and to be honest I DO LIKE HER. She is very sweet and I like being around her but the thing is sometimes I just feel like she is getting into my mind soo much lately so that I am thinking I might be falling for her.. we talk.. smiles.. everything seems so right.. but then she just might be too friendly. I saw her a few time talking other guys around the campus but .. no kissing or hugging . I feel like I am getting hurt like that, she being all around me trying make me like her and then when I ask her out she says no. maybe I am wrong maybe she is regretting and she likes me… I NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO here. Ask her out one more time? Stay away form her? Maybe I am assuming she likes me because that's what my hearts wants to believe,,,,,,

[Kevin T]

I'd say ask her out again. If she turns you down, then I would stop the friendship there. It might sound harsh, but if you don't, you're only going to get your feelings hurt even more so. Besides, if you ask her out and she accepts, you've lost nothing. If she doesn't, then at least you are not living in torment anymore, right?

 

You could also try talking to her about this, but I'm more direct, so that's why I would just go straight out and ask her again.

 

Good luck.

[fishrrshortae]

I would say give it one more shot. I'm guessing by "relationship" she means a BOYFRIEND.. she may be interested in OTHER things but not the exclusivity. If you are looking for a girlfriend (aka monogamy) I'm guessing she is not the one for you if she says she still doesnt want a bf.

 

Try it one more time .. If she still basically says no, then I'd say... don't let her be all huggy/kissy with you because it's hurting you. Remain a little distant. If she doesn't know why you're backing off after that, she's an idiot.

 

And remember: Worst case scenario, she's not the one for you and you are open to find whoever is.

 

Good luck!!!

[Massari]

I hope its as easy as you say it is.. its just that I know myself and after a rejection I just feel down for like a months.. and thats what I do not like!!! in tha my everything gets messed up.. I wouldn't workout anymore .. my college work gets intrupted.. basically things go down for a months or so.. even more.. I do not know how to deal with that,,,

[fishrrshortae]

It's easy to get discouraged, but you HAVE to think positively, for your own sake. There are so many opportunities for you to meet new people! Unfortunately, not all of them will like you, but others will. And obviously you are young, so what's the point in rushing it?

[Shidoshi]

I actually think you should leave it be and pursue other girls. I think she's using you for attention. She gave you the old "I'm not looking for a relationship" line, yet you never asked her for a "relationship". All you did was ask her out, and she basically said no. She saw you with another girl and she got jealous. Does that mean you should ask HER out again? You can test the waters if you want by asking her if she wants to hang out as "friends" and see where it goes. I wouldn't straight up ask her out again, I don't think you should. She rejected you the first time and I see no point in giving her the validation she seems to want by asking her out again.

[Massari]

Thank you all for the comments and suggestions. Lots of different opinions. My sister and my other female friends are agreeing with what "Shidoshi" suggests. I am guessing women know how other women think, and once said "No" most likely I'll get humiliated again. However my Guy friends are telling me what all you brothers are telling me, get it over with, clear up your mind and ask her out one last time.. I have a lab with her tomorrow and yeah I will have a chance to talk to her (if she doesn't come to the class with this other guy who is just a classmate btw). The logical thing is to ignore her and get a distance from her but something tells me this might work out.. so confused…