being pulled in a thousand different directions

[shorty20]

so I just got off the phone with my guy. He had lunch today with the girl that used to be my best friend that I've been having lots of problems with latley. He seems to think that I should call her, if not to be friends just so we can end on good terms. He thinks I should be the bigger person and just call her to make things right. I don't know what to do. She did numerous things to me and my roommate when we were still friends so that now she's not allowed over. Then when we started being friends again, she wouldn't drop the fact that she still can't come over. I can forgive and forget, but I can't make my roommate do the same. I can't make my roommate forgive this friend for all she did, so I don't see her being allowed over. I also don't know if I should be the one to call her, since I didn't really do anything wrong. I told her we could be friends if she would just drop the whole dramatic situation with my roommate and her not being friends. I told her we should make the best of the three weeks she has left here (she's moving 3 hours away with her husband)... she didn't want to hear it. Now, my guys says that she regrets not letting the situation with my roommate go. She regrets alot of the things she's done. Should I forget everything she's done to me? The nasty pictures on the internet of me, the nasty emails and comments her and her friends have sent me?? Should I suck it up, forget it all and make things right, or should I wait for her to come to me? I'm lost. My roommate dosen't even want me talking to her... i feel like everyone in my life is trying to control me... and I don't even know what I want... i need help.

[annie24]

What do YOU think is best for you right now?

[shorty20]

thats it. I have no idea. She brought so much drama into my life... but we've been friends for so long, my guy thinks I should at least try to salvage something and at least be on speaking terms. Latley I feel like everyone is trying to make my decisions for me. i was talking ot my guy on the phone, and he's telling me to call her... my roommates on the other side telling me not to forget all of the things that were done and said... and I'm just up to my ears in stress.... I don't know what I want to do.... I don't know if I should even attempt to call her... she's the one that needs to be apologizing. He just said that I should be the bigger person and suck it up, and just call her... but the more i think about it the more confused i get...

[annie24]

No no no. Don't tell me what other people are telling you...

 

what do YOU feel? Do you feel like talking to her? Do you need her in your life? If you don't, that's fine. Friendships aren't always meant to last forever. I've had some big blow-outs with some of my female friends. You don't always have to salvage friendships. If you don't need her, don't want her, then don't bother.

[bouldersweden]

Just do what you need to do. If I were you I would wait for her. If someone can't say "I'm sorry" they certainly can't make an effort to change. It seems that there's something else going on here. I'm not a female, but from what I observe they sometimes do things for reasons that totally unrelated to their actions. Was there a reason? If not she's nuts and you shouldn't bother until she comes forward. If there is a reason and you DO need to talk to her about it then I would. But I don't know. Only you do.

[shorty20]

in my opinion, she acted the way she acted because she was jealous and fealt threatened. I met my roommate and two months later we move into an apartment... and I think my best friend was feeling a bit left out... but isn't meeting new people, doing new things, and going new places a part of growing up? I think she felt threatened and jealous that I was growing up without her or something?? I don't know... all I know is the actions that took place. I told my guy I'd think about it... but the more I think about it, the more I want to wait for her to come to me... he thinks it's being stubborn. It may be... I don't know...

[Hope75]

Sometimes we just outgrow a friendship. My best friend since 1997 and I have been having similar issues, and had a big blow out on New Year's after I pushed her away for months. She told me she didn't even know if I wanted this friendship anymore. The more I think about it, the more I wonder too. I just don't know how much I am getting out of this friendship anymore, and it feels as though we are moving in different directions. I feel sad because I do love her and we have been best friends for a long time, so I also feel a sense of loyalty to her even though it's just not the same between us anymore.

 

Do you feel that way too?