hello again and depressed

[renaissancewoman101]

Hi everybody. Here I am in sunny San Diego. Life has been ok with me. I still havent been able to find a job, although I havent made much effort at it. I dont know what is going on with me though. It really isnt that I miss the ex. I actually miss my life out in Wisconsin. Life here is very fast paced and people are competitive and superficial and image oriented. I called some temp agencies and emailed resumes around but no calls back. I am running out of money and things are VERY expensive out here (gas, food, etc). I dont know what to do. I am afraid to actually GO and look for a job. I feel so inadequate here and I feel alone a lot. I havent met much new people. Have spent most of my days in my apartment with my pets and visiting my best friend who lives in Irvine and help him out with stuff. I dont know where to go and what to do. I have gone to see my parents a few times. If they werent helping me out now, I dont know what I would be doing, esp concerning money. THings are so costly out here.

 

I want to go back to Wisconsin. I want my old life back, my old job, where everything was so easy and all I did was go to work, make decent money, and that was that. Here I feel so scared and so much like a fish out of water. There is a part of me that may go back to Chicago for a few days to visit the mutual friend. She has expressed interest in seeing me again and I miss her a lot. She was good to me. When she found out that I got a lot of my stuff stolen, she sent me a care package with some knitting stuff and a stuffed animal. I miss my friends.

 

I am too afraid to go meet guys right now, and part of me is starting to miss the ex. Last night, I sat here and cried about things, including the ex. I am seriously thinking of divorcing my husband because of some other things and maybe trying to hook back up with the ex (not sure how that will work but will require me getting in touch with his mother and letting her know I am starting divorce proceedings).

 

I hate my life. I hate it out here.

[Serendipity1607307077]

Hey darl....

 

I'm sorry to hear that you aren't having a good time at the moment...

 

It is very intimidating in a major city isn't it... but the only way to make progress is to put yourself out there... be confident in yourself, and be confident that you have what it takes to make it! Because you do.

 

I'm not sure what else I can say to make you feel better... but if you want to PM me to vent or whatever, feel free...

[teacup]

ur married? where's ur husband?

[AwdreeHpburn]

{{HUGS}} REN!!

 

Sorry things are where they are. I feel for you and I really can relate to the fear of getting too grounded there. Like if you actually go out and get a job, you're admitting your life in WI is over.

 

I guess I don't know the full scope of things with you being married and having an ex either tho....

[xprincessbugx]

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