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im stuck, please help me

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okay, if you read my last post, my boyfriend and i broke up. well, we have been talking about getting back together, but i needed to quit being so negative all the time. Well, I cant stand it, he told me he was going to do what he wanted, but i cant. Like, we spent every single day together when we were together, ALL day. Now, I only see him for like an hour a day. He told me this weekend he was going with his friends to a bar and drink. I was fine with that. I then asked if he cared if i drank this weekend and he told me, "why do you always have to do what i do?" and i said, "me and one of my friends were planning on doing it since sunday"...and he was like oh, and didnt want me to do it. Its like I am only around when it is convenient, and he is trying to be able to tell me what to do, yet he can do whatever. It seems like he is just trying to say he will get back with me and making me wait until he decides hes "ready" to get back with me. It seems like he just wants to be able to tell me what to do, yet he can do whatever he wants. I love this boy with all my heart, and i tried so hard to get back with him. I dont know what to do, but im not waiting on him to make up his mind if he wants to be with me or not forever. I just cant do it. While he is out having fun, im sitting at home not being able to do anything, when i could be out looking for someone who could treat me right, and agree with me, that there should be boundaries for both. I told him we werent having sex any until he decided what he wanted...yet he still tries. No I have not given in on him any, im serious about that. He has porn problems and is addicted to it, and he told me he was going to be looking at porn, which is fine, but i still see that he uses it EVERYDAY, its out of control!...I dont know what to do. All i really want him not to do is abuse the porn, cheat on me, and just treat me right...he hasnt even been spending much time with me, what should i do? PLease help!

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I'm just going to break down what I hear you say.


1. You feel you need to ask his permission to drink if he does.

2. He abuses porn

3. He cheats (I'm just guessing at this from what you said)

4. He doesn't treat you right

5. He doesn't spend the amount of time with you that you want

6. He's not willing to commit


Sounds like a laundry list of reasons why you need to move on. If he can't decide what he wants, there's no reason why you need to wait around. If you're still available when he gets himself together and is willing to offer you the things you want, then maybe you can revisit things. Seems he has to address some serious issues htough before you'd be happy with the relationship. Have you asked him if he's willing to do so? People are unlikely to just change.

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