calgaryguy Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 So as most you know My gf and I broke up 1 month ago, she says she still needs time but would like to get back together with me eventually. She says she needs to get some stuff out of her ( party faze I assume ) and then she would like to work on getting back with me. Should I believe her ? is she just bs ing me? what should i do? thanx. Link to comment
DN Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 It looks to me that she wants a fallback guy while she goes out with other people. Are you willing to be put on hold while she does whatever it is she wants to do for however long she wants to do it? Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 That is a very common excuse, don't buy it for a second. She needs to understand that if she lets you go, she will lose you for good because you will find someone else. Any other way and you're just stringing yourself along. Go No Contact and start talking to other girls. You'll be in the best position then. That's if you wanna do what's best for you... Link to comment
calgaryguy Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 Thats the thing, i dont know how long i want to wait , I have met many new girls that would love to date me but I have turned them down because shes still on my mind. She said the same thing to me , she said If i wanted to date someone I could have many times, but I just need time to myself and then work things out with you. So i dont know ........ Link to comment
sucker4ya Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Yea that's what I heard from my boyfriend too...4 months ago when we broke up. And now what is he saying? We are over, we have no future...never gonna happen. Oh yea he has a new girlfriend. Don't take those words to heart...there is a good chance she doesn't mean them. Link to comment
calgaryguy Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 And what If she still kisses me and says she loves me and calls me? Is that normal? Link to comment
DN Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 And what If she still kisses me and says she loves me and calls me? Is that normal? It's normal for someone who wants to make sure that you stay as the fallback guy Link to comment
calgaryguy Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 So basically I should tell her to screw off and see if she comes to her senses ? The thing is I really do think we will end up together.... its just weird..... Link to comment
DN Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I would not tell her to screw off. I would tell her that although you love her and want to be with her, you will not wait for her while she gets her life together and if she wants to get back with you at some point to give you a call. If you are not in a relationship by then you will decide what you want to do. Link to comment
calgaryguy Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 Thats some good advise, but I know once I say that I will just go off and become a * * * * for a while and then chances are she wont want me back after I sleep with a bounch of other girls. Link to comment
DN Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Then don't say that. Just say that you will live your life as if she won't be coming back because you are not going to put your life on hold. You don't need to tell her anything beyond that. Link to comment
calgaryguy Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 Sounds like a plan , Thanx for the advise! I mean i do care about her and would like to be with her but I guess youre right I cant force her back , its up to her. 3 years is a long time to waste though, thats the * * * *ty thing about it . Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Thats some good advise, but I know once I say that I will just go off and become a * * * * for a while and then chances are she wont want me back after I sleep with a bounch of other girls. Well I wouldn't tell her that, but I will tell you that indirectly she is saying that she wants to go off with some other guys and fool around with them. Now that you know that, the question you need to ask yourself is if you would be willing (if she comes back to you) to take her back after she has been tainted by other men. Good luck. Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Thats the thing, i dont know how long i want to wait My question is, why would you wait at all, let alone contemplating how long? She wants to go have her fun and explore new worlds but have you as her stand by. This is completely unacceptable behavior and very selfish. I think you need to tell her simply that you are not putting your life on hold for anyone no matter how much time you have invested in the relationship. chances are she wont want me back after I sleep with a bounch of other girls. She is holding you hostage because you are afraid to move on for fear of losing her. Would you take her back after she slept with other guys? I'm not saying that she will but if I remember correctly in another post by you, didn't she recently get bit by the party bug? Does it make sense to you that she doesn't want to be with you while she's out partying and having fun, the having fun part I'm afraid means she wants to be free to meet other guys. Lay down the law, love waits for no one. She sounds like a future star of "Girls Gone Wild" Volume 69. Good Luck, RC Link to comment
calgaryguy Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 Ok then but what if she does invite me to go out with her friends and what not? But I just dont want to go? then what? Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 If she asks you out as a friend, don't go. You wont like what you see. If you are dating and as a group you go out that's fine, because you are with her. The point is, she has given you excuses for breaking up with you, not reasons. Going out partying is nothing more than her immaturity shinning through and showing you how screwed up her priorities are. RC Link to comment
DN Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Don't go - because you are still dancing to her tune. And she will still feel she has control and can do what she wants to and with you. Link to comment
calgaryguy Posted January 27, 2006 Author Share Posted January 27, 2006 So what youre saying is tell her that She should make up her mind and that im not putting my life on hold for her because of her immature ways and that her excuses not reasons for breaking up with me were garbage. ?? is that good? Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 In a nutshell, yes. I would phrase it more like a statement than an ultimatum. "I have decided that life is too short for me to sit around and wait for someone to decide if they want to be with me or not. I want to be with someone who knows they can't be without me." It's simple and gets the message accross in a real nice way. It might hurt like hell to say this to her but in the long run, you'll feel much better. Best of Luck, RC Link to comment
calgaryguy Posted January 27, 2006 Author Share Posted January 27, 2006 That sounds good, I been planning on saying something like this to her for a while now, It wont hurt me much , maybe the first day a little bit. Its just starting to piss me off the way shes acting and i dont have to put up with it. I can find someone who will treat me like i deserve to be treated instead of hoping on her to change. Id rather move on , this is why im seeing advise on how to say it nicely. Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Well there you go...good luck and stand your ground! Link to comment
calgaryguy Posted January 27, 2006 Author Share Posted January 27, 2006 thank you very much friends Link to comment
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