Is there hope?

[romanticlover]

Strange but good thing happened tonight. I really need some input on this as it could be a turning point. Tonight my girlfriend who I have been having these non passionate issues with, came over to hang out. I have been really down lately and today it really showed. Been affecting me at work, and socially. Well I told her today I was really upset. She came over and we watched a movie and cuddled. We do this quite often. See everything in the relationship is there except the intimate part lately. Well I have been complaining that she has not had any passion or lust for me lately also. She told me today deep down that I know it's not like that and not true. Well at the end of the movie, we started kissing. Lately when we start kissing, it feels bad and just ends up in little pecks from her and she was saying that I was forcing it. Well we kissed before like we haven't kissed in months. It felt amazing for how long it lasted. Not very long, but we used tongue and just was very deep. Here's where it get's tricky. I told her, honey I have been wanting to kiss you like that for so long. It felt amazing. SHE SAYS, then why haven't you? I almost fainted. I said, ummmmm cause you haven't been in the mood. Ane everytime we kiss, you don't seem into it. She said that I didn't seem into it also and I made no efforts to kiss her in a nice way. I said well every time I tried, you felt like I was forcing it. She said I never use my tongue anymore, bla bla...I was in shock. I said you were the one that crushed my ego and self esteem and how could I be into it when each time I tried to kiss you, you had an issue. I didn't want to start a debate as she had to leave. BUt I found this rather interesting. I thought 2 things, Is she getting her mojo back????? Or has she completely lost it? I don't know what to make of this. I'm trying to be positive cause I haven't felt so nice kissing her in a long time. Seems liek she didn't hold back this time. People plse share your comments. Could this be what I have been waiting for? I am still going to chill cause I know how she is. This could be a 10 minute phase.

I am adding to this post as it was made a few days ago.....

Things have been going ok so far, however I'm starting to feel this is more of a friendship than anything else. She is on her period right now so to her I can't even put my hand on her butt. It's no man's land till it's gone. She has showed NO signs or interest in pleasuring me. Not even oral, make out sessions, etc. Everytime I go over her house, I am sitting around while she takes care of her issues until we go to bed and it's kiss, love you , goodnight. I'm really hoping that come Valentine's day, she has made a turn around. I just don't know if this can get any better. I am trying to hang in there, but this is sooooo damn hard for me. If I ask her to do something to me, she will complain I am not getting enough and turn that whole thing around on me again. Has anyone ever had to wait longer than 3 weeks for their partner to even try anything on them?

[Bethany]

You need to stop asking. Women see this as pressure. They resent it and they will stop having sex altogether until they feel loved and wanted again for being themselves not a sex/blowjob machine you keep banging on when YOU feel the need. The more you ask, the more resentful she will become and the less sex you will get..

 

I'm not saying you have done anything wrong or blaming you, I am the opposite to her and I adore sex and I'm sure I would feel the same way if I were you, but it's what we women (subconsciously) do.

 

Lots of hugs and kisses, tickling, messing about, and just general fun is the way forward to make her feel loved and cared for, and no blaming each other or pressure to have sex from now on. Neither of you is at fault or to blame, you've just forgot what the other needs.

[romanticlover]

Wow Bethany, aggressive post. Sounds pretty harsh and upfront, but I guess that's the way it is. You know, sometime's I feel like she doesn't even care about the cuddling, talking, etc etc cause I am always doing that. I do a tun of sweet romantic things or her. Maybe I should just stop being nice to her. Sometimes I just think we are not neamt to be cause of our differences. hmmm