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January 26, 2006 in Relationship Advice
Any advice or ideas?
Are you a jealous person?
Is it possible she thinks it's going to upset you so she's decided that the best thing to do is not tell you?
You've got to have a talk with her and tell her your true feelings.
Dam, you only lie if you have something to hide. I would be serious be questioning this relationship before one of you or the two of you get very hurt.
I also think you should confront her on these lies.
Even if you are a jealous person you don't deserve to be lied to. talk about it in a nonconfrontational manner, act like it's not too important and maybe she'll open up and tell you whats going on. if not then i'd be highly suspicious.
I find it odd she is hiding it from you, if there is nothing to hide.
Have you expressed in the past you do not like her having male friends?
I think you need to talk to her about it...let her know you know she did see them, and wonder why she feels she cannot tell you?
I don't know, pay attention to this though, it does seem a red flag. Personally, I think having opposite sex friends is alright within reason, however secrecy/dishonesty about it are major red flags in my books.
I'm going to give it to you strait woman lie. It's not their fault. It's something inside of them where they can't even control it. I find it's not because they feel bad about what they did or are doing. The just use it to keep people from being hurt or from creating tension in any situation.
What to do about it?
That is a good question and I don't have any good answers for you but I can tell you what I do.
I kill them with honesty if they tend to lie I try to be even more burly honesty with everything. If you go out with the guys and she asks about it tell her everything and I mean everything every little detail. If you happen to share a cab with some girls and one of the girls is showing off her new nipple rings make sure to describe what the nipple jewelry looked like this kind of brutal honesty can only inspire them to change.
From my experience, unless she is a pathological lier, the reason she is lying is to protect herself. You have to figure out is what she is protecting herself from. It could be that you are a jelous person, nothing is going on and she doesn't want to fight about it; it will cause undesired tension for her. She could be protecting herself from many things. When they say they are protecting you, they are actually still protecting themselves because they don't want to hurt, etc for making you hurt. Hope that make sense.
Lies are never a good thing. You should ask yourself why you are putting up with them. You should confront her about it. Arm yourself with the Scout moto "Be prepared" because you may or may not receive the answer your looking for.
How did you know for sure that she has been lying to you? Are you spying on her?
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