will she ever come to her senses...

[Dogg]

will she ever come to her senses? being that we did not have a fight or anything that sparked our breakup, and pretty much went instantly into not seeing and speaking to each other, is thre a chance that she will begin to miss me, does she already? Is there any chance at all for recconciliation here or in the future? I am and have been working on letting go, but I still hold that hope that one day she will come around, I miss not having her to talk to and hug and kiss and just simply to love and cherish....I'm pathetic.....

[annie24]

You're not pathetic, but you DID send her a particularly nasty e-mail just a few weeks ago. You said some nice things to her prior to that, but I don't think your next e-mail did anything to win her over :S

[DN]

Apologise about the e-mail, tell her you would like another chance, ask her to meet and talk and if she says yes, talk about how to make the relationship work. If she says no, then accept that it is really over, take time to heal and then move on.

 

Time to move on - with her or without her.

[keefy1972]

Unbelievable!

[daredevil]

Never go back to an ex

[DN]

Never go back to an ex

 

Um - problem is, that if my girlfriend had not come back to me after we had broken up, we would never have got married.

 

Also - ask Hope75 and Mentor if they agree.

[Lady Bugg]

Dogg,

 

What you are feeling is rejection, anger and loss. As long as you're holding onto these feelings....moving on will be impossible. I know because I am going through it. It has taken me months to realize I am STILL extremely angry at someone for the way he treated me.....but rather than acknowledging that anger and putting the blame where it belonged (on him) I blamed MYSELF. Trying to prove my worthiness to him...and doing whatever I could to maintain him as a "friend". The truth is.....I could not really BE his friend, because I was STILL angry at him for what he'd done to me....and it came out in almost every correspondence we had.

 

You need to acknowledge your anger..because you ARE in fact ANGRY at your ex right now....but you ALSO need to forgive her. This does NOT mean you should allow her back in your life. Forgiving someone for hurting you

sometimes takes a LONG time...but it IS possible. This is also for YOU...and not for her. You don't have to forgive her...that is your choice...but it allows you to free yourself of her emotionally.

 

I read a few sites on forgiveness...and it explains the purpose and how to go about it. Ultimately it is YOUR choice....Perosnally, I feel better for it..and like I can start moving on.

[Outofoptions]

DN

 

how long were you apart from your Ex before you guys got back together? fantastic that it worked out for you.

[DN]

Nearly six months

[Outofoptions]

DN

 

What were the ingredients to you getting back together? did you have NC or were you in constant contact? why did you break up in the first place if you don't mind me asking?

[DN]

She was Canadian and we met in England, she decided to return to Canada, we kept in touch by letter and then when I started to back off a little and was obviously moving on, she suddenly turned up in England again. A few months later we were engaged, were married the following December, then she kidnapped me and I found myself in Canada where we have lived ever since.

[curlygirl47]

I'm glad to hear it worked out well. The other night I saw a couple who provides music at a local club; they are always so happy together and flirting with each other, etc. It made me happy for them and sad for me, because that's the way P. and I were. But anyway, it is great to know that you two are making it, too.

[deejay74]

She was Canadian and we met in England, she decided to return to Canada, we kept in touch by letter and then when I started to back off a little and was obviously moving on, she suddenly turned up in England again. A few months later we were engaged, were married the following December, then she kidnapped me and I found myself in Canada where we have lived ever since.

 

during this time, did you think about whether or not your ex was seeing/dating/etc. other people? were you?

 

if not, how do you get those thoughts out of your head? i know my ex and i are done, but i can't stop thinking about her hooking up with other guys now. i know she's completely free to do what she wants, i just want her to do it with me. i know i can go out and do things with other women but i am not ready yet.

[annie24]

Well, let's not take over Dogg's thread. If you have questions about your own situation, you should start your own thread.

[DN]

during this time, did you think about whether or not your ex was seeing/dating/etc. other people? were you?

 

if not, how do you get those thoughts out of your head? i know my ex and i are done, but i can't stop thinking about her hooking up with other guys now. i know she's completely free to do what she wants, i just want her to do it with me. i know i can go out and do things with other women but i am not ready yet.

 

I'll send you a pm and you can ask anything else via that. Annie is right, we can't hijack the thread,.