what's the deal with old flames?

[red10]

i've posted a few times, but always looking for more advice from different people -

 

so, my ex recently told me he wanted to pursue another relationship with an old college friend who he never dated, just were friends - recently, she got a divorce, calls my ex to tell him she has feelings for him, she has a kid (from trying to save her marriage) and now my ex thinks she's the one and he wants to do this. but by taking that risk, he knows he's losing me - i can't just be his friend, at least for now. our history: we lived together and dated for 8 mos. -took a break, but still were very close, slept together, took each other to weddings, spent new years together..etc..., basically had the relationship, without the commitment - he told me he thought i was the one when we were together, and he told me he loved me first....so confused, but really angry that this other woman confesses her feelings and so now he wants it to work. i try to understand, but feel like it's just not a smart move by his part - he says he has to take this risk to see what happens, but that means ruining out relationship. is it really worth it?

[princess81]

Maybe you should just let him make his own mistakes let him hurt and learn from them I would be worring about myself and my feelings and how toxic this relationship is to you emotionally and mentally dont be second choice to anyone and dont worrie about what descions are right for him because right now it sounds like no one is really concerned about you or your feelings. Hope I was of some help.

[DN]

If he is an ex - then you don't have the sort of relationship that he wants to pursue with this other woman.

 

Why didn't you try to put the relationship back together before?