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one night can change your life forever.

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This is kind of long, but i would appreciate the advice...


About a year ago, i became friends with a boy...we did stupid things together, teenager things, with all the rest of my friends.


i was dating someone at the time...though i was not mentally prepaired for it. I was a manic depressant and slightly bi-polar so i took everything the wrong way. I was miserable, making dumb choices and hanging out with bad people.


The boy started following me home from school, hanging out with me every day, and at first i didnt mind it. He was nice, i could talk to him. He began to open up to me too, and about how he used to think i was emo and gross and had actually wanted to go along with some dumb plan that another boy had cooked up because he was in love with my boyfriend and so to get rid of me they were going to bring a gun to school and shoot me.


It kind of opened my eyes and i started feeling uncomfortable around him.


My boyfriend found out he "loved" me and he started to act strange, and distant. He thought i didn't love him anymore...so he "took a break" with me to see what would happen.


i was devisated and by this time, failing in school, my friends starting to hate me, my family giving up on me, i decided to find console in the boy...he invited me over and i went. I seriously had no idea what was going to happen because i had made sure that he knew there would never be anything between us.


he molested me.


the next day i wanted to go home. My lower parts throbbed, i was tired, nervous, and by the time i got a hold of my grandmother to get a ride home, she was pissed.


The boy began bringing his camera around everywhere and taking pictures of me. Following me around. I got him banned from campus for harassment but he still knew my email and emailed me and tried to talk to me all the time, calling me names but eventually telling me he still loved me.


I got a scholarship abroad for the summer, it had been my dream to be an exchange student and i had achieved this...


I went away and was gone about a week before i had access to a computer...I found out that the boy had gotten really drunk and had beaten up his stepmother and then decided to go on a little cruise in said stepmother's minivan, even though he had no liscence.


He was arrested and sent to a camp in Puerto Rico for bad kids.


When this school year started i saw him...he was back and i began freaking out...i obsessed over the fact that he was here and could watch me or try to talk to me. Every time i seesomeone that looked like him I would start crying and shaking and becoming too over-emotional. I am so scared...I don't really know what to do...it's so bad that it's starting to affect my current relationship, which i don't want to end at all...


Does anyone have any advice?

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Let your honey know what is going on, never leave anyone you love in-the-dark, because the love you share between a person makes them family, and family is all you have in this world. Just relax, it's hard to but I cant say I know anyone who has ever been through something like this, that includes them seeing the person who committed those horrible things to them.


Let your campus police or even the dean, or principal(sp?) aware of the happenings. Dont mention more than you need to.


When it first happened I am surprised no restraining order was set in affect, it would of avoided this, as in he would never be able to go to that school. Just make sure, you have 'outs' (a way out). =) Take care.

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I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you.


My advice is that you should go to the counseling office on campus and start talking through what this has done to you. It's normal that something that horrific can hurt you for a long time, and you need to get it out.


Also you should tell your current boyfriend something about what transpired so that you can save that relationship. You should tell him what has happened.


I would go and speak to a counselor, and be honest about what has happened. Not only will it make you feel better, but then you have ON RECORD that this has happened, and if he approaches you again, they can look back on those records and charges can be laid.

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My boyfriend knows what happened, but I don't really think that he understands that it affected me so much...I dont really like to talk about my feelings a lot and so I think he feels I don't really care.


Thanks for your guys' advice, though...I appreciate it

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Its not that your boyfriend doesn't care...he maybe doesn't know how to deal with it. I'm glad he knows because maybe he can keep an eye out for you.


You need to do some positive things to take back the control. Take the power away from this boy. Telling your boyfriend was the first step. Now, can you go to a school counselor? or maybe seek counseling elsewhere? Call a rape hotline.. they may be able to talk to you over the phone and direct you to counseling. Its important.


And.. you need to notify your school security. You don't need to tell them all of it. Thats why I suggested a school counselor.. if you Told the school counselor.. they'd be able to #1 help you #2 Notify campus security.


You do need to stop the boy in his tracks. He gets away with it once.. he may try to do it again to another girl. With worse consequences.


Date Rape happens. And its not your fault. You did not do anything wrong.

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