I didn't go to the Baby Shower so now I am cutoff

[krissbrown]

Deletd Entry

[Dako]

Sometimes you just need to lose friends who aren't there for you.

As cold as it sounds, friendship is like a business partnership. If only one is reaping the benefits something is wrong.

 

I had a friend for about 30 years. One day I realized he was a selfish blowhard who mistreated his wife and treated me poorly. I denied it for years and finally cut ties. I'm better off.

[shes2smart]

As long as you RSVP'd that you wouldn't be able to attend her baby shower, I don't see where there's a problem. It would have been a nice gesture to send a gift anyway, but I wouldn't say that was necessary since you view her as more of an acquaintence than a friend. From her described past behavior (not visiting you in the hospital and so forth) I would assume that she viewed you as more of an acquaintence than a friend too.

 

Is it possible that she has simply gotten too busy with what's going on in her life and you're misinterpreting her lack of contacting you? A baby is one of those events that changes people's lives...it cuts way down on one's available free time.

 

Rather than take it personally, I'd be inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt instead of thinking she's completely blowing you off because you didn't go to her baby shower. That seems kind of small and petty to me. And maybe she's like that...I don't know her, so I can't say...but if she is, is she really someone you want in your life on a regular basis anyway?

 

What seems reasonable is she got caught up in what was going on in her own life (baby, moving, and whatever else) and it just didn't occur to her to update her phone number with someone she didn't see all that often. If you would like to remain in contact with her, I'd suggest calling her at work or if you know how to get in touch with her parents try that. If that pans out and you do get a current address for her, it probably wouldn't hurt to send a small, inexpensive gift for the baby.

 

Either way I wouldn't let it bother you. That's the nature of life...people tend to come and go depending on the other things going on. Marriages, babies, job changes...all these things can cause changes in friendships. Sometimes people move on not because of anything wrong but just because their situation changes and they just don't have a lot of common ground with us anymore.

[Blue Skittles]

you were NOT being selfish in any way, if you couldn't make it you couldn't make it. did anyone offer to drive u out there? Besides she wasn't there for you. I wouldn't worry about it, obviously you are not that important to her as a friend, or else she would have been there for you.

[krissbrown]

Well her friend seemed very upset when I said I would not be attending. I think she has a huge ego so I think she was offended.

Maybe your right I should forget it. I have no way of conatcting her. Her parents moved, i dont know anyone she knows, etc.

So I guess she wanted to end it. I do miss her.

 

No one offered to drive me, they expected me to take the railroad by myself for 1 hour 45 minutes and back.

I would do it if she was a good friend.