NC is impossible

[guss32]

What do you do when NC is too hard and/or your relationship is a sort of "exception?" She does still tell me how confused she is and how bad she feels for putting me through all this.

[DN]

NC is not always what people need. But if you contact her and feel worse, or by doing so it gives you false hope of getting back together, what is the point. In the long run, it will be worse for you.

[Royltnxile]

Why is NC impossible? Her confusion is only hurting you, so don't subject yourself to it.

[guss32]

Its a "exception" becasue of how close we have been since childhood and our families are still extreemly close.

The confusion and truth that she does still have some regret helps me hold on and think that there could still be a light at the end of the tunnel. On the other hand I need to realize that this could really be the end and that is the hardest part.

[DN]

Regret at hurting someone you care for is not the same as wishing for a reconciliation

[lady00]

Regret at hurting someone you care for is not the same as wishing for a reconciliation

 

I agree. It's pretty common for one or both people to feel regret after a breakup but it doesn't mean that your ex wants to reunite with you. I know that you feel your relationship is an exception but I think if you look around the boards, you might find some similar stories...especially with regards to one being close with the ex's family. I think you need to think about how it makes you feel when you speak to her on a regular basis. Does it make you feel sadder than if you didn't talk to her? After a breakup, you need to heal. It doesn't really matter what the circumstances are...the only sure thing is you need to heal. Do what you need to do to do that. Many people (including myself) find NC is very helpful with that.

[jl301]

I know is really difficult right now to do "NC" thing. However, is for your own good. She says that feels so bad for putting you through all this pain. Of course , she going to say that. I really doubt it that she is going to say that I'm so happy for putting through all this pain and torture. If she cares about you in any way then she should leave you alone for time being. Instead of maybe giving you false hope. I know this is difficult and hurts because I'm kind of going through same thing right now. Hang in there!!

 

jl301

[RayKay]

Well, no one ever said breaking up, or NC for that matter were easy.

 

It's not always necessary, but when you find you are not moving on, when you are clinging to hope that is not there, being hurt by their actions and non-commitment, trying to "win them back", crying everytime they don't call, and so forth.....it is usually a good idea. Even for just a month or two.

 

It helps you heal and move forward. And I have a friend whom was with her boyfriend 13 years, lived with him and his family, and they are in NC right now for a while. So it can be done. I have been in situations where I too was close to family, or they were close to mine.

 

I know you feel as if you are the "exception", but heartache really is something shared by many, so are "exceptional relationships". When you look around, many things are not so different or exceptional after all when it comes to breaking up or the reasons it ended at least. The exceptional ones in my mind are the ones that last the test of time, that work together to come through issues, that support one another good and bad, that love and cherish, nurture and accept.

 

Confusion and regret for hurting someone you care about is not the same as wanting them back though, be careful of hoping for things that are not there. I don't know many people whom are happy about hurting someone. It does not mean they are going to come running back. She chose NOT to be with you. If she really wanted you back, she would of CHOSEN to ask you, or to NOT break up in the first place.

 

They only come back if they want to, and after both people have healed.