"You suck at it"

[ysitsohard]

The love of my life told me I was a bad kisser. She told me she loved me with all her heat, but I suck at it. As you may relize that hurt. But its ok, I told her I was upset and she said she was sorry, but then she told me her X was better. (I asked if he was "good" and she said "he was beetter&quot The thing is I know she loves me, all her friends know it, all my friend know it, thats not the problem. She seems to be mad at me for "Blowing this up". I keep asking different questions and she answered me. This I did not want to hear, now we are both upset. What do I do?

[shyanne]

that was wrong for her to tell you that her ex was a better kisser. you don't need to know that and i'm sure it hurt to hear that. don't worry about being a bad kisser. i know someone who's been in love for decades with a losey kisser.

[newts]

Ask her to teach you how to kiss the way she wants you to kiss. When I was 20, I went out with a guy who was 30, he was a horrible kisser, however, I taught him the way I wanted him to kiss me. As immature as this seems , after i broke up with him, a girl I knew went out with him, she said omg, how could you have let go of him, he is such a good kisser - lol, I didn't say anything, I just laughed.

[PrincessLinzay]

Ouch! That was not a very nice thing for her to say.

 

The way I see it, the way someone else kisses is a direct reflection of the way that you yourself kiss. Maybe not the first kiss, but every subsequent kiss thereafter.

 

After the first kiss, you're learning each others styles of kissing, and they are learning yours. Without even realizing it, you are both changing to adapt to each others kissing methods.

 

I think it's rare to have a first kiss that's perfect because you are usually used to kissing someone else.

 

I think instead of telling you that you suck at it, she could have gently shown you the way she does like it through her actions. Ask her what could change to make it better.

[Boricua7]

Tell her she sucks at communicating because...SHE DOES!

 

The last thing she needed to do was openly compare you to her ex. That's just wrong.

 

A kiss, if you love someone, is amazing even if at first it is awkward.

 

As opposed to critizing you why doesn't she help you? My ex was my first kiss and I'm sure my inexperience was obvious but he never complained. He just told me what he liked and what he didn't like and before I knew it I was a pro!

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Wow, comparing you to her ex. This would've blown my top, and I know I would never say this, but I would've thought, "Well since you're such a great kisser, I've got something you can kiss!"

 

I agree that she can teach you. And you can teach her to cmmunicate her feelings better. Good luck.

[ShySoul]

Yikes, talk about a really bad communicator. You never compare the one you are with, whom you love, to an ex. Or at least never mention it. A kiss is good because of the feelings put into it. If she doesn't see that, she's the one missing out on the point. Let her know how much it hurts you, and that it isn't fair or right for her to compare you to the ex. If she does it on this, how do you know she won't keep doing it on other thing? She needs to learn to accept you as you, realize that each person is different and has different style. Appreciate what you have to offer, not expect you to change to fit what she wants. Compromise is ok, you both adjust to each others styles. But you shouldn't be expected to change completely for her because she liked how her ex kissed her.

[KieranMc]

Dear god... You know what.. if it were me.. I'd pay her mum to kiss me all night.. get better at it and when she says "OH GOD HONEY... YOU'VE REALLY IMPROVED".. You can come back with "YEAH?? WELL SO HAS YOUR MOM!!! HAHAHAH"... sorry.

[robowar]

Christ... comparing you to the ex was absolutely awful. I speak from experience that being compared negatively to an ex signals only a bad vibe in the relationship. If I were you, I would seriously re-assess the relationship and consider ending it. That's horrible what she did. If you can't bring yourself to do that, at least have a frank discussion with her about this and maybe have her "teach" you. But if it were me I would never be able to get that "ex is better than me" thought out of my head... in my mind that signals the end of a relationship.