Boyfriend :s

[dave_d4]

Hi,

 

I recently met this girl that I really like, and I think she likes me - last week we went out to the cinema, just the two of us, and had a really good nite..

 

The only problem is that she has a boyfriend, so Im not really sure where things are going - I really dont want to get stuck in the "just friends" trap, but I really like her, and would rather spend time with her as friends rather than not at all..

 

So should I just continue to hang out with her - or is there a better way to show her how I feel, without runining the friendship?

 

I feel like such an * * * * * * *, as Id hate to hurt anyone, and a lot of people could end up getting hurt here...

 

Thanks

[Bethany]

She has a boyfriend. She has already cheated on him with you. You may not think of going to the cinema with her was cheating but her BF certainly will and so should she.

 

Back off now and tell her that you really like her but seeing as she has a BF nothing more can happen. I know it's hard and you want her to choose you, but it will feel like pressure if you try to win her over in any way. Let her have space to work things out and decide who and what she wants she wants. IF she chooses you, then great. But if she doesn't, at least you didnt get so far in that YOU got hurt.

[dave_d4]

Ok thanks for the advice..

 

One thing, she's only been going out with him for three months, and Im not sure how serious things are between them - like eg she has told me that he's always busy and they dont get to spend that much time together, and I just passed it off..

 

So I think Im going to go out with her just once more, cause like I dont really know her that well yet, and we only went out once, so I wanna make sure that Im doing the right thing before I rock the boat so to speak... Also we have a lot of the same friends ( I dnt know her bf btw)..

 

But I like your advice - but do u not think I should try to get to know her better as friends first, or is that disasterous!

 

Thanks

[Bethany]

Wouldn't it make more sense to back off and let her finish with her BF and THEN make a move at getting to know her better. I worry that your already in deeper than you should be because you are thinking.. just once more, just in case.

 

Somewhere down the line she is going to have to make a decision if you continue down that road, and it might not be you. Look after your heart. It hurts like hell to be rejected, not to be chosen etc. and the deeper in you get, the more it hurts.

 

It does sound like things aren't working out with her BF anyhow as she has been out with you. Show you're interested but not interested enough to hurt anyone, be used or become second best.

[Venturer]

When you went out with her to the cinema, did you ALREADY know that she has a boyfriend? If so, then why did you go out with her?

 

If not, I can understand you being a bit put-off by this. Next time you go out with a girl and she mentions she has a boyfriend, go "you have a boyfriend? then why are you out with me?" Watch her stammer and stutter. She's busted!