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ok, i don't know if this would fit under this category, however, i will post it here because i happen to like the "finding love and soulmate" section. what do you guys think of women who decide not to go to college but instead choose to marry young (early twenties) to become stay at home moms? i personally don't know what to think of it. can i get some insight from women that have done it and the outcome.. or, anyone else that has an opinion on the matter would be great!

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I'm 30 & becoming a mom for the first time (due in April), & my boyfriend is becoming a dad for the first time & he's 27. We met as activists. For the last three years, I've been having adventures accross the country... from sitting in trees to hitch-hiking & freight-train hopping to traveling to Mexico on a whim. Before that, I had several relationships that I learned a lot from. Before that, I went to college... which actually, I don't necessarily advocate, especially since I basically went because my parents expected me to. But as for the other experiences I had after I turned 18 & could be out of the grip of parents & teachers, I am SO glad I did them. SO glad I didn't settle down until now. My "biological clock" hasn't even told me I want kids until the past year or two, so now I know it's the right time. No doubts or questions. That's my input.

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OK so as another 30 year old single, educated woman I have a few things to say about this.


A woman who is not educated and has no job skills is limiting herself greatly in life. She is basically making herself a dependent on her partner for financial support. Marriage is no longer statistically a sure thing.


So, women that make this choice intentionally, with all the opportunities given to women these days, in my opinion is foolish. That being said, often opportunities for education and high paying job skills are not always available to women. This is a different issue all together.


Also being said, if a woman chooses to give up a career (yes it is hard to get back in the work force after several years!) to stay at home and raise the kids, it is her right. I personally would hope that she is able to work this out with her partner so that she does not become too out of sync with things or too dependent on him.


I also STRONGLY thing employers should accommodate families a bit more and allow women to have careers (and men) that are meaningful and allow them to raise children. Many jobs, especially my profession, are not offered "part time." It's hard for my female co-workers that have kids. Late meetings, huge deadlines, traveling to clients, etc. And men should be taking their paternity leave! It's their right too!


Those are my two cents!

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i am living proof that you can do all. feel pregnant at 18. worked most way through my pregnancy and saved money.

When my baby was 11 weeks went back to college. had enough money saved to pay babysitter.

my parents babysat on a sunday so i could work to get money for babysitter for the rest of the week. now in 4th year at college and will have my degree in may. my child is 3 and a half, and at playschool so babysitting costs have gone down.

i have found that i am able to spend every evening with my son so i am not really missing out, and i can study while he is sleeping at night.

i honestly dont think that becoming a mum at an early age should stop you from doing something else with your life.


but i do have two factors that helped me along the way:

live with my parents so dont have to pay rent

my parents babysit for me on a sunday so i can earn money for babysitter for the rest of the week.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I decided that I wanted to be a wife and a mother when I was 8 years old. I made good grades in highschool, but hated college with every fiber of my being and preferred being out in the work force. My rationale was then, and is now, what in the world would I do with the degree I was seeking when I'm knee-deep in diapers? I have sought and attained the career goals I've had since I was 8 and if I raise my children well, that will be just as admirable a feat as a woman who has sought and attained a college education and a rewarding career. I have immense respect for either. I have very little respect for women AND men who allow their careers to come before their children. Raising children is exceptionally difficult work, raising them well is even harder.


My husband and I married young, 23 and 20, respectively. We (I more than he) established that I would stay at home when we had children and he would work. I want to be involved in every facet of my child's early development and I'd rather teach him/her how to read, say his/her ABCs, how to count, etc. than hear it from a daycare. My husband makes very good money, so my staying home will not affect us financially. If it would, and our financial situation was somehow harming our child's emotional wellbeing, I would march right into my work clothes.


All that being said, I have no problem whatsoever with working mothers. My own mother was one, and a single one at that, and my sister and I greatly benefited from her parenting. Sometimes they prefer working, sometimes they have no choice, sometimes it's a mix of both, sometimes it's something else. I have absolute respect for parents that can balance work and home life well. I just know that is not now, nor is it likely to ever be, a choice I will have to make. Everything in my marriage is completely balanced. I know it sounds sickening to some, but keeping my house looking good is my definition of a good time and I can not WAIT to stay at home with the bun that's in my oven right now. That balances perfectly with the fact that my husband works and takes care of the finances. We keep each other in the dark about nothing - we have no secrets. I consult him before buying a $200 living room table, he consults me before investing $3000 in gold (hot stuff right now, if anyone's looking to invest!).


Now, after the kids are good and gone, I might head back to college, but here's hoping my husband's entrepreneurial dreams will come to successful fruition and we can retire early!


I can't wait for the day when a woman's choice to stay at home isn't criticized as foolish and a woman's choice to be a working mom isn't criticized as bad parenting. In the end, we all do what we know to be best for our families.

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