torn

[shorty20]

my birthday is coming up in about two weeks... the big 21. I want it to be something to remember. If anyone has been keeping up with my posts (and I know there's alot, but I really appreciate all the help) my best friend and my roommate hate each other. They were friends to begin with, and then my best friend kind of flipped and decided she didn't like my roommate anymore. I dont' know if she felt threatened or what, but she started being really rude. She would come over to our apartment, and invite people over we didn't even know without asking, go through our fridge, be sarcastic and disrespectfull to my roommate. The last thread was when she crashed one of our parties with about 5 other friends... she was drunk and so were all her friends, and they pushed their way past the door and started talking about how they wanted to beat someone up... just stuff that shouldn't be happening with 20 year olds... so her best friend (who I kinda think was the mastermind behind my bestfriends actions... not that she isn't responsible herself for them) has moved to a different state, and now my best friend is trying to come around. She's putting me in the middle again, saying I need to talk to my roommate and get her to let her come to our apartment again. Why? Why should I? Because all her friends left and she has no one else now? I'm so torn, because I really want my best friend at my 21st birthday party... but I don't even know if she's my best friend anymore. I've grown so much closer to my roommate than I ever was to my best friend... but I would really like my best friend to be there... and my roommate dosen't want ot hear anything about it, because last time my best friend was over, my roommate ended up punching a wall because she got so pissed... so my best friend is saying choose... what do I do? Throw away 8 years of friendship with my best friend, or risk living in a year of hell with my roommate? why can't they just put their differences aside for one night so I can enjoy my birthday and have the people I love there? I just don't understand why it has to be so complicated.... any suggestions?

[Hope75]

why can't they just put their differences aside for one night so I can enjoy my birthday and have the people I love there? I just don't understand why it has to be so complicated.... any suggestions?

 

Did you put it to them this way? ASk them for YOU, as a birthday present, could they please put their differences aside and support and love YOU on your big day?

 

Tell them that you respect their differences, but that this isn't about them, and they don't have to like each other, just treat each other cordially for one night, so that you can have them both there. Tell them that they are both important to you and that you don't want to have to choose between two people you love on your special birthday.

[shorty20]

I did tell them this... and neither of them can get past the past. They can't let it go for one night, or so they said. So I am forced to choose. I'm forced to choose my roommate because I can't have my best friend there. My roommate and I made an agreement before we moved in that if either of us didn't like someone, we'd back each other up. Now, I'm being forced to back her up... against my best friend... and it sucks, cuz she's only here for 3 more weeks...

[Hope75]

It's really a shame that neither girl will grow up and suck it up for one night so that it can be about YOU on your special day. Personally, I find it immature and ridiculous that they can't put it to rest for a night and stop being selfish and thinking of themselves.

 

Since they won't, could you maybe have two gatherings, on different nights? One that includes the room mate, and another to include the best friend?

 

Myself, I'd be pretty ticked that these so called "friends" were so selfish and put you in the middle of it, and I might not want either of them at my party bringing me down.