Don't feel included..

[InsertNameHere]

A lot of times my gf will go out with her friends to movies and comedy clubs and the like, but she won't invite me? Am I wrong to feel bad? I figured that if you like someone you will try to include them in your life, but I just don't feel like she tries to include me. I always bring her or invite her to chill with my friends. Am I just over-reacting?

[BellaDonna]

It depends.

 

When she goes out to the comedy clubs and movies- is it a "girl's night out" or are her friends bringing dates?

 

If it's just her female friends- then don't feel left out. If they are bringing dates however- then that is a different story.

 

 

BellaDonna

[InsertNameHere]

Well ya, she said it was just friends. But there were a few guys mixed in there. I guess its nothing, I just get very jealous and wonder why she didn't want me there..

[Boricua7]

I understand completely what you are going through. My ex did this a lot. I never minded him having "boys only" time but I felt left out when he would hang out with other girls too and not invite me. It made me feel like he didn't want me around because he wanted to be able to flirt and do things with these other girls. He never did but that doesn't change how I felt and the fact that he was excluding me. Have you confronted your girlfriend about this? When I mentioned to my ex how I was feeling he assured me that he would never cheat on me and that he liked hanging out with other people every once in awhile without me there because if I was there he felt like if he didn't pay attention to me the whole time I would get upset (which was true). He promised me that if there were other girls hanging out with him and his buddies that he would invite me to hang out from then on and he did. You have to talk to your girlfriend if you want things to change and work out.

[InsertNameHere]

Ya I did, and she sort of said the same thing your bf said to you.

[annie24]

How long have you two been dating?

 

I have a bf, but we're taking it slow. We haven't met each other's friends yet, and we regularly go out with and without each other, so it isn't a big deal to me.

[Boricua7]

Well I would suggest for the both of you to sit down and come up with some happy medium like my ex and I did. He agreed to invite me more often and to include me if there were people of the opposite sex around. Maybe this is something you can do until you feel comfortable with not being around her all of the time to ensure that nothing bad is going to happen (keep in mind though that if she wanted to be with someone else, it will not matter if you are there or not, she will be). If she does agree to the above, decline her invite every once in awhile to show her that you trust her and you will see that she will invite you more often than not. Be careful, everyone needs their space. You will lose her if you don't let her breathe when she wants to.

[InsertNameHere]

We have been going out for 6 months. Yeah, I realize that if she wants to be with someone, she will be, whether I'm there or not. I guess I just have to learn to cope. I just wanted to make sure this behavior isn't sketchy on her part. I also don't want to come off as clingy, so I will try to give her her space.

[Boricua7]

TRUST ME give her her space. You will kick yourself in the face if you know there was something you could've done to save the relationship and you didn't. It's not sketchy. Continue to be honest with her though. Tell her how you feel so that she has the chance to take your feelings into consideration (because she knows what you're feeling) when she does things. Otherwise, you can't say anything because she has no clue what is going on.