Just need a little encouragement

[evepm]

I can readily admit that I am not that great with relationships. I had stopped dating all together for about a 18 months and was focusing upon my career and family.

 

I went out on a date this weekend, which I posted about. The guy was a jerk and things did not go well. I have always said that the handwriting is on the wall in black and white from the very beginning. I have reached a point in my life where I know what is good for me but, I keep repeating the same patterns with men. Always seeming to choose ones that are not right for me. I want to stop this pattern even if it means that I just don't date!

 

If anyone has any insight to help me figure out what I can do to identify why this pattern occurs and how to change it, I am very open to what you have to say. I do not want this for myself anymore and it's time to make change. In regard to the guy, everyone here said do not accept his phone calls and I did anyway. Even knowing that it wasn't good for me. HELP!

[MI_Shell]

Hi evepm, I am also a 35 yr old woman and I stopped dating for awhile because I noticed I was with guys that were no good for me and would try to either put me down or play mind games with me. There are many questions I needed to ask myself. Did I think that this was all that I deserved? Was I that lonely that I was prepared to settle for second best. I have made firm descisions now that unless a man is my equal and wants to be a blessing he will just be a burden and a waste of valuable time. It is good to try and learn from past experiences so that you can develop discernment and see when they are no good. Once you identify this you need to discipline yourself to make sure you don't let them into your life because some people can just be users and you deserve better. If you keep accepting to be treated badly by men it would be good to find someone to talk to about this so you can deal with those issues.

All the best

[NJRon]

*stands up* I too am 35 and taking a break from dating for the same reason... although I am a guy I know a girl is wrong for me when we are madly attracted to each other and they seem perfect (I put the 'Red Flag' blinders on) and charge full steam ahead. It's rather annoying really. Sometimes I wonder if I am destined to be with people I'm not I'm not really attracted to in order to avoid certain doom... hehe

[nikki blu]

Looking back at my dating history over the last few years, I can sadly say I've been stuck in a pattern. I once tried to break the pattern by dating someone I wasn't attracted to, and that was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

I'm in a self searching mode right now, and I just read a book called Meeting the Madwoman by Linda Schierse Leonard that gives interesting theories as to how we develop destructive patterns in our lives.