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Dating a man shorter and smaller than you


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OK people. I've got a question. I've developed a thing for this guy I know. He is wonderful: great personality, honest, funny, smart, and an all around nice guy. Only problem. I am taller and bigger than he is.


I'm not fat: 5'8" 125 lbs, most would consider me tall and thin - but I do have curves (got some junk in that trunk! hey I'm 30!). And I am pale: blonde, freckles, etc. And I love to wear heels - although new years resolution is to slowly migrate my fashion to flats.


This guys is athletic, but petite. He's asian, probably about 5'6" muscular but skinny. I think he is fabulous. I love his personality and we are pretty decent friends... well acquaintences. We are both single, get along great and I've started feeling like maybe we should be a little more than friends... but then I think gee, could this work? I am attracted to his personality, but physically I'm a tall amazon woman and he is a small athletic asian man! (Humor intended here)


I dunno. I am not even sure if he dates white women or would consider someone "bigger" than him. And to be honest I am not sure how feminine I would feel if my man is smaller than me.


You guys have any advice? I know this is shallow.

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If you were to date, you both probably wouldn't even realize it much. Of course it would be obvious, but when you really like someone, you just don't notice that kind of thing. You focus on more important things.


Obviously it's not impossible to have a relationship where the guy is smaller or shorter. I've known a few couples like that. What matters is how you and the guy feel.


How does he act around you? What do you think he feels about you? I would suggest hanging out with him more. Work on your friendship. I would say that you should work on the relationship you do have with him.


Other than that, you just have to go off of how you feel about it. Personally, if I liked the guy, I wouldn't care about his size. But you also have to feel comfortable.

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My husband and I are the exact same height. I too, like to wear heels. However, when I wear my heels it makes me "taller" than him for that moment. At first it used to bother me a lot when we began dating. I started wearing flatter shoes to avoid being taller.


After a while, it didn't bother me at all. Now I wear heels and don't care. Though I will admit - when we got married I opted for flats because I knew there would be a lot of pictures and dancing and I didn't want to feel like an amazon.


Keep in mind you make it worse in your own head. It doesn't not look bad like you think it does. Just look at other couples when you're out -and you'll see plenty of women who are taller then their men- whether it is by wearing heels, or just having more body height. You probably would not look at these couples twice- unless you were specifically looking for a height difference.


Bottom line though- if you really care for someone- the height issue doesn't matter as much as time goes on.


Also keep in mind- that if you love your sexy high heel shoes- wearing flats you don't like will make you feel less feminine then simply being taller ever could.



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Thanks all of you. I feel better about this from my end. I know it seemed silly, but I was a chubby teenager. Though I am not that now, I have always felt more self conscious about my size. But like one of you said, I probably have the most problem with it in my head. This really hit home. Thanks again to you all! You guys are the best!


OK now next step, need to turn on that sweet May55 charm and see if he responds... he may not. Like I said before not sure if he's even interested.


Watch out!

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Yeah I know what you're going through since I'm there also..I'm 5"3'/5"4' and I dated girls around my height till now, but it's not much of a problem I guess since the last girl that asked me out was 5"10' I had the same issues actually, I told her as a joke I'd bring a ladder to the date but yeah she asked me if height was a problem for me.. I thought about it, it wasn't a problem..

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  • 4 years later...

I have the same problem, but it`s not just a couple of inches: If we stand face to face, the top of his head comes to the top of my chest. I really like this boy, and he is EVERYTHING I'd ever want in a boyfriend - He's funny, cute, caring and really really considerate, but if he hugged me I think I'd freak and have to kneel down! :S Please Help.


P.S - Apparently he's meant to have a growth spurt in a couple of years time 'cause he's a late starter (There's obviously a more medically worded expression for that!) But if I asked him out THEN, would I seem really really shallow?

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Personally smaller guys aren't my thing. I've 5'4 but have always gone for really tall guys with broad shoulders (every guy I've dated has been 6'-6'6). I'm an athlete and physically very strong, so I think I've always just wanted someone who is not just also athletic (and typically pretty built) but who makes me feel protected. The guy I'm seeing now actually isn't a whole lot taller than me though (3" heels put us face to face) and I really like being able to kiss him without standing on my toes or him having to come down to my level.


My aunt is 6' and my uncle is 5'9 or 5'10. A friend of mine is 6' and all the guys she dates are around 5'7-5'9.


So basically to each his/her own...

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