Dating a man shorter and smaller than you

[may55]

OK people. I've got a question. I've developed a thing for this guy I know. He is wonderful: great personality, honest, funny, smart, and an all around nice guy. Only problem. I am taller and bigger than he is.

 

I'm not fat: 5'8" 125 lbs, most would consider me tall and thin - but I do have curves (got some junk in that trunk! hey I'm 30!). And I am pale: blonde, freckles, etc. And I love to wear heels - although new years resolution is to slowly migrate my fashion to flats.

 

This guys is athletic, but petite. He's asian, probably about 5'6" muscular but skinny. I think he is fabulous. I love his personality and we are pretty decent friends... well acquaintences. We are both single, get along great and I've started feeling like maybe we should be a little more than friends... but then I think gee, could this work? I am attracted to his personality, but physically I'm a tall amazon woman and he is a small athletic asian man! (Humor intended here)

 

I dunno. I am not even sure if he dates white women or would consider someone "bigger" than him. And to be honest I am not sure how feminine I would feel if my man is smaller than me.

 

You guys have any advice? I know this is shallow.

[Meow18]

If you were to date, you both probably wouldn't even realize it much. Of course it would be obvious, but when you really like someone, you just don't notice that kind of thing. You focus on more important things.

 

Obviously it's not impossible to have a relationship where the guy is smaller or shorter. I've known a few couples like that. What matters is how you and the guy feel.

 

How does he act around you? What do you think he feels about you? I would suggest hanging out with him more. Work on your friendship. I would say that you should work on the relationship you do have with him.

 

Other than that, you just have to go off of how you feel about it. Personally, if I liked the guy, I wouldn't care about his size. But you also have to feel comfortable.

[musicguy]

Height shouldn't matter anyway, I mean you like him because of his personality, not his height. I'm a short guy and a lot of girls are taller than me.

[prettydance]

I'm 5'7 and my ex was 5'5. I was worried about the height difference. i even wore flats for him, turns out he liked women to be taller than him and loved when i wore heels.

I notice short guys go for tall women. so dont worry

[darkblue]

2 inches is nothing!

 

However, being over 6 foot - I have never been in the position of being concerned about taller women.

 

I don't think it should be a problem.

[Dako]

I think height is just an arbitrary matter. I know of a few tall women/short guy couples, and it's only a big deal for insecure people.

 

I'm 6' 5" but wouldn't be afraid to date a munchkin...if she had bucks

[BellaDonna]

My husband and I are the exact same height. I too, like to wear heels. However, when I wear my heels it makes me "taller" than him for that moment. At first it used to bother me a lot when we began dating. I started wearing flatter shoes to avoid being taller.

 

After a while, it didn't bother me at all. Now I wear heels and don't care. Though I will admit - when we got married I opted for flats because I knew there would be a lot of pictures and dancing and I didn't want to feel like an amazon.

 

Keep in mind you make it worse in your own head. It doesn't not look bad like you think it does. Just look at other couples when you're out -and you'll see plenty of women who are taller then their men- whether it is by wearing heels, or just having more body height. You probably would not look at these couples twice- unless you were specifically looking for a height difference.

 

Bottom line though- if you really care for someone- the height issue doesn't matter as much as time goes on.

 

Also keep in mind- that if you love your sexy high heel shoes- wearing flats you don't like will make you feel less feminine then simply being taller ever could.

 

BellaDonna

[may55]

Thanks all of you. I feel better about this from my end. I know it seemed silly, but I was a chubby teenager. Though I am not that now, I have always felt more self conscious about my size. But like one of you said, I probably have the most problem with it in my head. This really hit home. Thanks again to you all! You guys are the best!

 

OK now next step, need to turn on that sweet May55 charm and see if he responds... he may not. Like I said before not sure if he's even interested.

 

Watch out!

[Micwu_25]

Please do come back and give us an update . btw, I am a first generation Chinese and I love all women, asian or not. The girl I am trying to date now is a white canadian who is as tall as me(see thread "Need advice from women and studs"). Oh, I love tall women.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

If he likes you, and the height thing becomes an issue, he'll overcome. Same with you. If height gets in the way of a relationship, then it's not meant to be.

[FamousAmos]

lol i tell you what

im 14, im asian, im 5'8 and i've had 9 ex'es so far, All white girls.

but i was taller than all of them, but if you like him, go for it.

[TheLegend]

Yeah I know what you're going through since I'm there also..I'm 5"3'/5"4' and I dated girls around my height till now, but it's not much of a problem I guess since the last girl that asked me out was 5"10' I had the same issues actually, I told her as a joke I'd bring a ladder to the date but yeah she asked me if height was a problem for me.. I thought about it, it wasn't a problem..

[JaffaQueen]

I have the same problem, but it`s not just a couple of inches: If we stand face to face, the top of his head comes to the top of my chest. I really like this boy, and he is EVERYTHING I'd ever want in a boyfriend - He's funny, cute, caring and really really considerate, but if he hugged me I think I'd freak and have to kneel down! :S Please Help.

 

P.S - Apparently he's meant to have a growth spurt in a couple of years time 'cause he's a late starter (There's obviously a more medically worded expression for that!) But if I asked him out THEN, would I seem really really shallow?

[rk2706]

Personally smaller guys aren't my thing. I've 5'4 but have always gone for really tall guys with broad shoulders (every guy I've dated has been 6'-6'6). I'm an athlete and physically very strong, so I think I've always just wanted someone who is not just also athletic (and typically pretty built) but who makes me feel protected. The guy I'm seeing now actually isn't a whole lot taller than me though (3" heels put us face to face) and I really like being able to kiss him without standing on my toes or him having to come down to my level.

 

My aunt is 6' and my uncle is 5'9 or 5'10. A friend of mine is 6' and all the guys she dates are around 5'7-5'9.

 

So basically to each his/her own...

[cursedgirl]

hey i have a friend who's a model and shes 5'8 or 5'9..and his bf looks rather small..at most the same height and skinny. and women usually looks bigger even they have same size.

anyway they are four years together now..see..even a gorgerous model doesnt care..i guess we dont have to either lol

[Fudgie]

I'm not too picky about height but honestly, I prefer a guy to be around or exactly my height (5'7'')

 

Kind of stinks that most guys are taller. I like that my boyfriend is 5'7''. Perfect because we stand right up, can stare RIGHT straight into each others' eyes...