Had a fab weekend with a guy but....advice needed

[coolbloke1978]

There was this guy I had met prior to my ex boyfriend last year. We had a one night stand and kept in touch with each other sporadically over email. Well when I broke up with my ex me and this guy finally met up for a drink and he said crikey I can't believe this me and you could have actually gone out I really like you.

 

Since then we have been meeting up, dating and doing stuff together.

 

Only problem is he's going to Australia, for a year and we both know that the relationship has an expiry date end of March but we're having a good time. Is this healthy? I am getting over my ex and he is enjoying my company till he goes?

 

Another thing is he is completely out of the closet where as I'm not, well I am but just not to my family. Over the weekend he was round mine and my family wanted to come round to mine and I just kinda freaked out. So he got annoyed and said can't you just say I'm a friend. I said no cos I'm Asian and it just looks a bit suspicious that you're wearing my t-shirt. I switched of the TV as my bro was outside on the road. So that's it...he went distant and then just went to bed without a word said.

 

And I did the same...I asked him once if he was okay and he said yea...so I didn't probe further as I just didnt want to get uncomfortable. Then there's issues like he likes holding my hand on the street and so on and I hate it. What's the point if this relationship (if you call it that) is finishing in March. Is it even worth letting it happen till March as I could be faced with a double whammy when he leaves...of dealing with a broken relationship and letting him go to? And is it too much for him to expect me to change my ways etc for something that is merely a stop gap? I'm so confused. I haven't called him again as I don't think I want to see him again (I mean I do cos I like him) but just avoiding future heartbreak - all over again times two!

 

Please help!!!

[honeyspur]

I see your conflict here. What a tug of war you are in with your feelings!

 

Here is what I would do if I were in your shoes. I would talk more with him about this issue with not being "out" around your family. I feel that this is an issue you are confronting, but you need to him to slow down about it and respect your boundaries.

I think it is ok to be in a fun relationship with someone knowing it will be over soon, I just think it is also very difficult.

I think you should be proud of yourself for being faced with all this. It is a chance for you to be more comfortable with who you are and people who accept you. The fact that this guy wants you get closer is a good sign that you might need to work towards coming out to your family. In the end, you will be glad you did.

[James005]

Wow, I know exactly what you are talking about. Sounds to me like you really like this person but are still having issues with coming out. Thats normal I know because I going through the same thing. Also, I think your friend should be more supportive and take it slow with you. Coming out to your parents is very difficult. Timing is essential coming out know wouldnt be the best choice, sinnce you are still in College you still need them for financial support and moral support. My plan is to wait until Im out of the house working full time and have everything under control and I know I can manage without them for a bit. Let your friend know your feelings about him and ask him how it was for him to come out to his parents then maybe he'll understand.

As for you two just, having a good time until he leaves, Do It, your in college, Have fun and play safe EXPERIMENT.

Hope this helps, if you want feel free to send a personal message to me if you have any questions.

 

Later

 

James