Am I a better kisser?

[PeteMcAvoy]

I started going out with a girl this weekend and we kissed for the first time yesterday and it was kind of weird as I felt like I was the better kisser? I've kissed more people than her (about 15) but they have all been one offs and I have never had a real relationship until now. She however has kissed only 5 people but has been in a longterm relationship for the last 5 years, so I would have thought she must have perfected it?

I don't have any specific technique when kissing I just sort of massage the girls tongue with mine and kind of freestyle! Sorry if that sounds dorky! But she just kind of used a come hither motion over and over, it seemed a bit boring! I tried to push her tongue into some random movement which I think is a good kiss, but she didn't seem to get it.

This isn't a big thing and I don't want to say anything to her about it, I just wondered if it was a normal way of kissing or if it's me that has some kind of crazy method?

What are peoples thoughts? How do you all prefer to kiss?

Pete.

[Boricua7]

Look, you've got to keep in mind that kissing is different depending on WHO it is that you are kissing. She has been with someone longterm and has thereforeeee "perfected" how to kiss HIM. I had kissed 2 other people before my lips ever met my bf's. We are more of "freestylers" as you like to put it, but everyone is different. You can't just keep something like this from her. It is unfair that she keep going on not knowing that there is something that is bothering you. Yes, it is a hard conversation to start, but you need to talk to her BIG TIME. I mean, for all you know she may be thinking that SHE is the better kisser and was just wondering what in the world you were doing the entire time!

[ShySoul]

What difference does it make who the "better" kisser is? For that matter, is anyone really a better kisser then another? What makes a kiss special and meaningful is the feelings attached to the kiss. It's the love and emotions you each bring to it.

 

Could the problem be that you were so focused on what you were doing that you couldn't lose yourself in the kiss and just enjoy the feelings involved? Or are you so used to other people that you don't know how to enjoy her individual style? We all approach kissing differently, no one persons technique is any better then another. You aren't used to her way, as she isn't used to yours. Also, with you having kissed more people, you probably have been exposed to more variety then her. Thus you might expect different things that she isn't used to and can't be expected to know.

 

I think the question is, how much do you guys like each other? Beyond kissing, is there potential for a real relationship? If you think there is, chances are that as feelings grow you will start to enjoy the kisses more. You will get used to how she kisses and like it as part of her. And you will probably naturally start to try new things when you kiss, mixing it up. For all you know in a few months you could prefer here way and she could be the one wanting what you want know. So just concentrate on the feelings involved and let that guide the kiss.

[Boricua7]

What difference does it make who the "better" kisser is? For that matter, is anyone really a better kisser then another? What makes a kiss special and meaningful is the feelings attached to the kiss. It's the love and emotions you each bring to it.....So just concentrate on the feelings involved and let that guide the kiss.

 

I could not have given better advice if I tried (and I did)!

 

My first boyfriend was kind of a sloppier kisser and since it was my first kiss I was like "ugh" but it grew on me and I didn't care anymore because I cared about him so much. My boyfriend now is not a sloppy kisser but he is quite aggressive and I love it (I also happen to love him very much too)! There is a strong correlation between your feelings for a person and your appreciation for their kissing style.

[ShySoul]

Boricua, so I take it your first kiss wasn't what you would have wanted? But it didn't matter cause they somehow seem to get better, don't they?

 

Pete, have fun kissing.

[Boricua7]

Of course they get better! The more you care about someone the less these trivial things seem to matter. I'm not saying kissing isn't important because it very much is, but the WAY someone kisses seems to be of less importance when there is feeling between your lips and your partners. In such a case, it always gets better.

[ShySoul]

I completely agree. Your boyfriend is a lucky guy.

[nikkers04]

If your in a long term relationship...you adapt to how that person kisses...you learn to kiss them...so when you kiss someone else they are going to have a different way of kissing and its not going to be the same as yours so yes you may be better .... BUT Who cares kisses are kisses.

[Boricua7]

I completely agree. Your boyfriend is a lucky guy.

 

Heh, we broke up like two weeks ago. My feelings for him haven't changed though (obviously). I have written many-a-post about what is going on between the two of us.

 

The fact of the matter is, a kiss is just a kiss with there is no feeling attached but when two people love eachother kissing can be explosive.

[ShySoul]

Then your boyfriend was a lucky guy. I'll have to look for your posts, they somehow slipped past me.

 

And this sums it all up:

 

a kiss is just a kiss with there is no feeling attached but when two people love eachother kissing can be explosive.