What do I do?

[Hey_Beautiful]

To make the history WAY short:

 

My ex-boyfriend and I were friends for a long time before we ever decided to date--in fact, it just happened, and we realized that we wanted to happen! After dating for 4 years, we realized that we were both starting to be in different places, and our own personal issues were getting in the way--he thought I was too clingy, and I thought he didn't show enough compassion, among other things...The one thing that we both agreed on was that we wanted to remain friends--I know that sounds very unlikely, but we've been friends for so long...

 

We've been apart for about a year, and now that we live 5 hours apart, we talk on the phone, and when I'm in town on business, we'll grab a drink or do lunch. It's never gone past that, and honestly, I've never felt the urge for it to (even when I've had a few drinks!)

 

HOWEVER....the other night I was in town, and we were having coffee, and all of a sudden in the middle of the wine bar, as we were laughing, something just clicked...and he leaned over to kiss me, and I was realized I was leaning back over to kiss him too. This wasn't supposed to happen..but I let it happen, and I'm sorta glad that it did....we're both single, so that helps, but at the same time, am I foolish to think that we can fix all the problems that we had the first go round, or should I just be deadset on us having a good friendship??

 

I'm confused. Help.

[annie24]

hmm... interesting.... do you think you two would be able to fix the things? Think about it honestly.

 

Maybe you could always ask him, "Did you ever have second thoughts about our breakup?" and see what he says. I think his repsonse will be telling.

[DN]

I agree with Annie. Problems can often be fixed after a gap, especially if both parties agree that there were problems and they need to be fixed with good will. It is especially true if you have both matured since the break up. Since you two have remained friends, that is also positive.

 

Time maybe for a talk with him but make sure you know what you want first.

[SuperDuper]

I say go for it. If you regretted it, you'd probably feel it by now.

 

This is somewhat similar to my situation, minus the kiss.

My ex and I are really close, and sometimes it's really hard to hold in your feelings when you want mor

 

I say ask what he wants, unless you're in my position and asking will only make you take a few steps back.