Broke No Contact, Hade Sex

[pissedoff]

hey yall, gf and i are considering reconciliation, i think. i went out last night got several phone numbers from girls and had opportunities to hook up. and then my friend hit me over the head and said, "man your an idiot, dont do anything stupid". i got caught up in the moment of being single and realized if i did do anything stupid my ex and i would never reconciliate. i show up at her house after not talking for several days and surprisingly she lets me in. we talk for several hours and then have sex. i was drunk she was sober and half asleep. so im assuming she wouldnt have gone through with the effort if she really didnt want to do the deed, so to speak. now i dont know whether or not to call her today. what do yall think? were having dinner wednesday night with my mom and talking, but now i want to call her so bad. i guess going over there was stupid, but i would have rather had sex with her than done something stupid with someone else and ruined what we have invested. thanks in advance.

[venus777]

hmm

 

it's hard to say. calling shows you care. but it could also be over the top if she's not ready for reconciliation and needs space.

 

what were the circumstances of the break up. who broke up with who?

[pissedoff]

well, she broke up with me about three months ago. we have still been hanging out and having a great time together but as you might now she went out of town with a pro golfer to a tournament and they hooked up. well, i have gotten past this because we were not together at the time and i hooked up as well, so no harm done in my book, we werent together. but he has continued to call her as she is torn, but like i said wednesday night we are supposed to have a "meeting" about us and the truth will come out. but i just wanted to call today and say, " i had a great time last night, i miss you" you know just to let her know i care, and since were meeting wed i dont see the point in no contact right now

[Relationship Coach]

thanks for all the great advice. yeah i know im sinking to her level with all the game playing, but i got desperate. trust me i want to get over her and move on

 

Recognize that? It's from last week, when you thinking clearly. You were drunk and played right in to her hands. She is now winning the game in which we all told you not to play. Holding you back from moving on and being with other girls is exactly what she wants. "If you get with her, I will never take you back". That's her attitude! If she cares so much, why did she dump you, go to Hawaii with Mr. Putter and have sex with him besides letting her parents ruin your life? Question #1 After 4 years, this is how she treats you? #2 Why would you want her back? #3 How can you ever trust her again? #4 Don't forget about her parents!

 

i guess going over there was stupid, but i would have rather had sex with her than done something stupid with someone else and ruined what we have invested.

 

She didn't mind one bit risking your relationship by having sex with Mr. Putter, so she obviously does not care about her investment or yours! You are playing by her rules and losing very badly. Wear a Hawaiian Golf Shirt to dinner on Wednesday, let her know you haven't forgotten!

 

I think you need to prepare yourself to move on.

[lipstick]

i think you should call her and talk w/ her about that night

it looks like you both still have feelings for each other , since she let u in

[venus777]

hmm... this is a tough one. you weren't together, but it's true she was seeking out someone else. this sounds like a potential heartbreaker for you. she's definitely got the upper hand since she has someone else who is interested in her and she may be interested in him.

I'd proceed with EXTREME caution and DON'T expect anything. And think carefully about if you're really over this golf "buddy" of hers. Would that plague your mind if you got back with her. You were with someone else, but was that just to get over her?

[pissedoff]

sorry yall, went out of town last night. um, lets see. yes i could get over the golfer guy if she told me that she wanted us to be together. ive made my mistakes before and she has forgiven me several times, so it would only be fair to give her another chance if she wanted it. i was ready to move on, but after talking to my mother and what the ex told her about how she feels about me, i realized there is still a little hope. i will not get my hopes up, but if we work things out i will be ecstatic and if we dont then i have learned a lot and will be ready to accpet us not being together. i have met some great new people latley since the split, and have a lot of fun with them. they cant right now replace the love i have for the ex but it will definetly keep my mind off of her so much.

[venus777]

so any new developments?