American pilot...

[mmpuppy]

I am a girl from Shanghai, China. about a year ago I broke up with my ex, and was so bored and logged on a website and began to chat. I got to know an american guy who was humorous and fun to chat with. We kept chatting from time to time until last Oct he decided to come to Shanghai to visit.

 

I was so excited about his coming. I got his SMS to my phone of the flight number and going right away to the airport. Waited and waited until I got a phone saying he's already at hotel by himself and just informed me of his arriving! I got a little upset as I wanted to surprise him by seeing him for the first time at the aiport. I was sad and went back home. There must be some communication problom...

 

The next day I went to his hotel lobby to meet him for the first time. I pretended to be calm but actually i was very nervous. He must have noticed that wow he was tall and handsome, with blonde hair and blue eyes shining in the sun. I took him to my office building and I asked for a leave from my boss and took him out to see the city. We went to Canival and had great fun...

 

He asked me if I'd like to go visit Beijing (the captical city) with him. I said I often went there for business travel and didn't really want to spend lots of money on flight tickets on my own for the moment. I asked him if he would go to Beijng by himself. He said DEPENDS... I was a little upset b'coz I thought he'd stay in Shanghai to spend time with me if he's interested... he said Depends, probably it meant he wasn't that interested....I was very sad actaully...

 

The other day I went to office and talked to my swedish boss. She said 'if you're interested in this guy, why not go to wherever with him to spend time together? I approve you to ask for a few days leave from tomorrow and go to some nearby places with him...' I phoned him afterwards saying that I could take days off to travel to Hangzhou city, just not sure if he's interested...He said" yeah sure"....so the next day we went for Hangzhou by train...

 

It was mid-Oct, fine weather with sweet flowers smell everywhere in the air. after a long walk along the West Lake, we sat on the grass to feel the peace of this beautiful city. He let me lean on him with his arms around me. It was the first time we touched...We talked and talked until the sunset. really wished time could stop...When we walked again he hold my hands and I felt so warm and sweet...We missed the train back to Shangai and had to catch the next one sitting in its canteen. We both were so sleepy and I put my head on his shoulder. Was so close to him and I loved so much his smell. I must be addicted to his smell... We kept like that until arriving in Shanghai, took a taxi. Was so cold and we hold each other...and he kissed me...was so sweet and i was melt.

 

the next few days we went to bars, restaurants, gardens, museums etc. or just spent time in the hotel room to cuddle and kiss. they were absolutely amazing. We both wished time could stop for the moment...

 

Finally he needed to go back to the US. We now keep contact by internet and by phone for the moment. He promised to come back to see me as soon as he can. He would apply for the job in Asia to fly.. and I also would try to apply a business visa to the US with the help of my Swedish boss this year to visit him...

 

However, the long distance relationship sucks and hurts. I am not strong enough to lead a life without him being around. I miss him so much....A few days ago on MSN, i told him either we stopped contact so that I could find other dates, seeking the possiblity for marriage, or he promised to come to Asia to be with me. He said he didn't want to lose me as I was a special friend. I said i didn't want to be special friend, but a girlfriend. He said he wanted me too but the location was a big problem. and he would try to live in Asia anyway. We still keep contact by phone and internet. making schedule for our next union and looking forward to it. We dreamed about great moments we spent together and kissing each other. we both feel we would make love crazily next time we see each other. miss him so much...

 

Should I trust and wait for him coming? what is american value/view to this?....

[TroubledChild]

Do whats in your heart. If you really believe he is the guy for you then do what you have to do. If it means doing whatever you can to be closer then so be it.

Is he so important to you that you would give up your lifestyle (job, being close to your family and friends) to be with him. If he is then go for it. If its impossible for you to be together then i would try and move on. Your only going to feel more pain from this as you said you cannot continue this as is now.