Long, but I need to get it off my chest.

[SuperDuper]

Hey, I'm not new here, but am just realizing this expert advice section.

 

I hope you can help me with my situation.

 

My ex broke up with me beginning of June 2005 saying she just wanted to be friends. She was honest about that and we hung out numerous times throughout the summer. Until which I felt I needed NC because friends didn't seem good enough for the feelings I still had for her.

 

We did NC for about 2 months, in which we each found someone new. Neither of them lasted, and by late November by ex messaged me again. Until this day we have talked every single day. 9/10 it's her initiating the conversation. 9/10 it's her approaching me at school. Chances are, it's her making the plans too.

 

As for tonight, she planned that her and I , and 2 of our friends would go out for dinner, then to a hockey game. We had a great time. On Christmas night she told me out of the blue she just wanted to stay friends then.. and I didn't even bring it up.

 

We were both honest and I explained how I sort of wished something would rekindle, and she said she thought she wanted to get back together, but then realized that's not what she wanted. She said "it sucks because I don't know what I want."

 

This was 3 weeks ago, and we've hung out/talked numerous times since then. I feel like she's sending me signs all the time. I don't want to act on them though because she's admitted to not like talking about "relationships and their conflicts" and just likes to live each day. She doesn't like to feel pressured.

 

I've been really laid back and relaxed this time around, and I feel she'll continue to make plans with me. In time though - I feel i'll want something more. I don't want to stand by and stay her "friend" forever, while she gets with other guys. So far, nothing like that is happening.

 

I sometimes feel her and her ex-bf that broke up in November, will get back. Despite that he went out with another girl right after going out with my ex.

 

I don't know what to do. I've been patient, and it seems she likes me, but doesn't want to commit. What can I do to help her commit? To act soon, or i'll be gone.

 

I can't live without her in my life, because I love spending time with her, but if it's only as friends.. I feel i'll always want more with her due to our past experiences, memories, good times.

 

Ps- I'm 16, and she's 15.

Advice?

[valenski]

The only clear message she sent is that she doesnt want to get back with you, so if you like torture be her friend and watch as she go through guy after guy. It will burn a hole in your heart, dont be fooled by her mixed messages they only serve to lure you into a vortex of confusion, in my opinion NC is best. You dont contact her and if she initiates contact, engauge small talk and you cant go out because your busy.

You may think you cant live without her but you'll be surprised that all it takes is a little time and practice.

 

good luck.

[causeeffect]

You need to time to heal. Be honest with her, tell her you can't be her friend, because you don't see her that way. Tell her politly that you need time for yourself. Then start no contact(no calls, no emails, no texts, no meetings, what so ever). Trust me in time it will get better.