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I hate being the girl who cries all over the place. I hate it that he has made me weak when I know I am a strong person. I hate this feeling of hopelessness I've been left with. I hate how nothing seems like it's going to get better because we're not together anymore. He was always the one I turned to when things went wrong and when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Who do I turn to now?


I've been doing NC. I don't call him or e-mail him or IM him or anything. The times we do talk its because he's contacted me. I don't tell him anything; I always leave it to small talk. I don't ignore him because I don't want him to think I hate him and I don't want to be a b-word to him. I've been doing fine so far. We've only been broken up for like 2 weeks. I was just on the internet and came accross a picture of the two of us earlier in our relationship. We were smilling and so happy. I can't pretend that I don't miss being with him and that I dont want to be with him. I saw those pictures and I just broke down.


I know that "if you love something, let it go and if it comes back you know that it was always yours". It's just so hard to let go. I have never been so close to another human being in my life. I'm scared. I don't want to lose someone that means so much to me and I feel like he's gone forever (even though I know he's not).


We've planned to see eachother in a week or two from now. I don't know if I can handle it. I don't know if I can look him in the eyes and hold back the urge to hold him close to me. I know that I can't let myself be vulnerable around him...I WON'T let myself. I just-God I just wish I could be over him; like wake up tomorrow and be completely over him. It's hard to fight someone else but it's even harder to fight yourself. I'd rather fight a physical fight than an emotional one any day!


I know I'll survive but there are times where I feel like there's no way I could be strong enough to overcome such a huge obstacle that is standing in my way of happiness.


God what I would do for a hug!

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OH MY GOD! this sounds just exactly what I am going through right now...My ex and I broke up a little over a week ago. He was really adamit at first about being friends, and I just ended up telling him it was too weird for me. Every time he'd call I'd end up getting really depressed. Now we both decided that maybe we shouldn't talk at all for a few weeks....just to see what time can do for us. I feel your pain! I know the feeling of just wanting a hug. Its so unbearable sometimes

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