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Oral - do guys expect it all the time once you've done it before?


Kaia

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Hi, this is a question mainly for guys.

If your gf has given you a blowjob before, do you expect that she will give you one everytime you get intimate with her later on? Or would you 'settle' with something less?

 

In my past relationship, I did not want to have sex so I gave my ex oral instead when he wanted sex. It was not a healthy relationship and half of the time I did things because I felt guilty. But past is past, I'm with a new guy now and I want to try it with him. But I can't help wondering if same thing will happen and I'll just end up feeling bad if I don't do it later on. (I used to feel horrible when my ex wanted one and I didn't give it)

 

So, is it possible to be a one-time thing? I'm not pressured into giving it right now (sometimes I have to try hard not to give him one! but I'm afraid I will be later on. My current boyfriend is very different from the one I had before. He always ask if I'm alright and if I'm comfortable with what we do. But my memory still haunts me a little from time to time.

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I think you should take your time with this guy. There's no rush. If he's a quality guy, he'll wait for when you are ready.

 

It sounds like you have some doubts about getting physical so soon. Just wait. There's always tomorrow, or next week or month

 

Maybe wait until he gives you oral until you give him oral.

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Why not just let things progress naturally?

 

Personally, if a guy respects you and likes/loves you for whom you are, and for the experience they have with you, I don't think they would pressure you for oral "everytime". Every experience together does not have to "one up or match" the one before it. You can just "make out" with people you have slept with, or cuddle with those you have had oral with, and so forth.

 

Personally I would get rather bored if EVERYTIME we were intimate we did the same thing (ie oral for him, then for me, then whatever....). Part of having that intimacy is having fun together, exploring, giving one another pleasure and getting pleasure from providing that...it's not a script that needs to be followed!

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Take your time to get to know this guy. And don't rush into anything. Intimacy should be wanted by both people.. not just one sided. Sometimes just snuggling on the couch is... delicious.

 

Oral... doesn't sound like you like giving oral. You know there was a time I felt this way. And I thought I'd never like it. It was more of a have to kind of thing... and I always wondered how long I could get away with NOT doing it. I think it has alot to do with your partner. Just like you felt with your past boyfriend. If you feel pressured into doing something... there's no joy in giving then. There's no joy in being in the drivers seat and giving them something special. THIS IS NOT YOUR LAST BOYFRIEND. Aye... flashbacks will happen but it'll happen with less and less frequency as you learn NEW BEHAVIORS.

 

I agree with KayRay... making love shouldn't be scripted. I'd soon get bored if I could name that next move... name that next touch.... and know how long its going to last. When you can predict your love making session to the minute, and you soooo try not to watch the clock.. cause you don't want to know YOU ARE RIGHT ON THE MONEY... then WE've got a problem Housten.

 

Making love should be playful, fun, giving and getting pleasure in each others company.

 

Take your time. You'll be fine.

 

Regarding whether a guy expects a blowjob??? hmmmm... I think that the % of guys that don't like them.... is very small.

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Oral sex = safe sex. I guess it depends on the guy, but I'd take a blowjob over sex anyday. If I can have both, that is better. If the girl is really good at giving them, its hard for a guy to NOT want one when the chance is right there.

 

Like I said, oral is safer than regular sex.

 

Only in that you don't get pregnant. You can still transmit HPV, gonorrhea, and so forth through oral, even easier in many respects as the tissues in your mouth and throat are quite porous.

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>Oral - do guys expect it all the time once you've done it before? do you expect that she will give you one everytime you get intimate with her later on? Or would you 'settle' with something less?

 

that's a great question. As said above, sex shouldn't be scripted but entirely different everytime. I know that my partner and I mix it up. Most guys have a higher sex drive than women. Here is my experience for myself and my guy friends. Guys want and need sex a few times per week(more in their 20's), most women could do with less. Every guy I know, loves a good blow and would often settle for that in place of intercourse. My women and others I know of, don't always like to get "yucky" with intercourse and are happy to just get the job done and satisfy their man and move on. And worry about their pleasure the next time around. Of course, everyone is different. Also, don't forget, an expert hand job can be just as good as a blow job from time to time.

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If a guy really cares about you, he will not expect anything from you, oral or otherwise. He will be satisfied just to be with you. Would he like oral? Probably. Would he like it every time you are intimate? Depends on the guy. But he won't expect you to do anything that you don't want to do.

 

Kaia, take your time with the relationship. You were in a bad relationship, so its understandable you have had your trust shaken. This guy is not your last boyfriend. He is probably a good guy who wouldn't hurt you and whom you can feel safe with. Take it slow, if he wants for you and tries to make you feel more comfortable with him, thats a good sign.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I personally give it all of the time and never expect it. I prefer to give my partner pleasure and it seems to work otu fine. I guess if you are an oral person, then you will be oral all of the time. I personally like to pleasure my mate and don't expect anyting in return. It always seems to work out though.

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