He left to start a new life....

[radiohead79]

Aloha,

 

So, here's the deal...My lover, my world has left me and his good friends in New Jersey to start a new life in Virginia. To make a long story short...I encouraged him to move to Virginia, ya know the deal, better job, better pay, better living.I'm not too sure how he is doing. As far as how I am doing, I am depressed as hell. He's been down there not even a week and it's killing my heart. I love him to death but my heart is hurting and I feel so sad all in one. He tells me that he loves me everynight and he told me that he is going to come back for me and the only reason why he moved down there is becasue I told him so. He told me he wants to save money and buy a nice house so that when I'm done college in Jersey, I'll be with him in Va and have a happy life etc.. I can't move down there at this time becasue I have a 3 year old and work and college and he lives with his parents in VA for the time being and his parents are not cool with me and my son living there and yada.

 

So, what is really bothering me now is that I can't tell whether or not he is ignoring me. I'm thinking he is a bit overwhelmed with the big move and starting a new job..I just don't know.I don't want to call him and pester him if he's overwhelmed etc.. His parents know of me and I don't think they approve of me becasue i have a son. Again, I just don't know.

 

I haven't heard from my love in two days. I think I screwed up big time telling him to move to Va.

 

Please.. comment back.. anyone.

[nikkers04]

You didn't mess up you knew he needed to go. Long distance relationships are fun but then can work. Wait it out I know you miss him but if its suppose to work it will! I promise.

[xmrth]

Which would have really been better for him? Or for you both?

Do you just think it was a bad idea because now you can't see him, or because he really would have been fine staying in NJ?

If things would be so much better with him living down in VA... for all that he can get with having more money and all of that, I don't think it was such a bad idea. It's just that now you can't see him and you're second-guessing yourself. He sounds like he'll be doing all the necessary things to keeping a relationship with you for now and especially afterwards, so I would just stick it through..

How much longer until you can be together again/when you're out of college/whichever comes first?

[Ms Omaniac]

give him a few days to adjust to his new surroundings and job. im sure he is super busy right now moving and settling in. and im sure his family isnt helping much by keeping him busy too. but once he settles down and gets into some form of ritual...i hope you hear from him. you might have a lot of time on your hands so you might be missing him more right now....but im sure youre not far from his thoughts if he truly loves you.

hang in there.

[radiohead79]

When he lived in Jersey, he couldn't stand it. The cost of living is more expensive and he lived with 90 year old grandparents who are about to pass away, respectfully. We both know that it's going to be much better in VA, living wise. I'm just reallly sad that we can't see eachother as often as we had before he moved. I just can't take it. It's really tough.... wow.

 

 

It's definetly going to be a while before we can be together again. He told me before he left that he would visit me every few weeks. I didn't realize him not being in sight everynight was going to be this tough on me. A few days after he left, all kinds of feelings/emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. All I keep thinking is, "Oh my god! I lost him, he's gone!"

 

Anyway, I started college late and so I have a long ways to go before I graduate. It's going to be a while especially since I'm a dual degree student. It's double, the load on my shoulders.

 

Oh and he wouldn't have been fine staying in Jersey. This is probably another reason why he left for the better. His birth mother lives here in Jersey and he can't stand her. She left him when he was born and yada. So, if my dad was the only parent who raised me, and he moved to another state, I would move right along with him and tell my mother to fly a kite....just my opinion.

 

i gotta go to bed...drained.

[Vanilla]

well all i can say is that if he is living with his parents, and they dfont like you....then you will have a good bundle to deal with. For as long as he lives in their house, regardless of his age, he will be influenced.

 

if his parents dont approve of you and he is with them, they will do whatever they can to make sure it doesnt work. not that theyre bad people or are out there to get you, but its just how it works. its what happens when you live under your parents roof even when you're 30!

 

I suggest you focus on your son right now and just devote your entire self to him. Your boy needs you to be strong emotionally and you need to be doing well to be there for your little one.

 

Best of luck!