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I'm not a good conversationalist with friends one on one.

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Ok, I'm very much a laid-back homebody type guy that spends most of his time home. I'm really not the type to really go out & experience stuff. With people, it's not that I'm shy, I just run out of things to talk about fast & I often get quiet. This usually happens alot when I'm just talking to one person or especially when I'm on the phone with just one person.Now when I'm with a group of friends, it's easy to be talkative & the attention is not all on you.I usually just let people call me & if they have something to say, I'll basically be their counselor & talk back to them.It seems everyone has these interesting lives, where they can call me & tell me about something funny that happened at a party,work or whatever.Now if I call somebody, the conversation will last for about 5 minutes & it'll go dead. In all I guess I'm just not a real talkative or interesting person.I can be quite funny & I can talk alot when I'm around a group of friends like I mention, but it's just the one on one conversations that get to me. It's especially hard for when I meet new people & don't have a clue what to say.I'm really not into most of the stuff kids my age are into. I'm 19 by the way. Most kids my age are interested in parties & basically you know stuff most teenagers are interested in. I'm usually into being at home, catching a DVD,playing a little bit of video games, surfing the net, maybe reading a book & calling it a day.I just don't want to seem dull to people..

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If you want to get better at this stuff, I suggest reading a few things. I would begin with:


1. How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie; and

2. How to be More Intersting, Edward de Bono.


Both are very good. These are skills you can work on.

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Thakid, when I spotted the topic of your post I just couldn't help thinking it's interesting. Because I'm the exact opposite - I can be talkative and have good conversation in one-on-one situations; while I spent 90% of the time being quiet in a group of friends. You and I are on the very extreme ends of the continuum.


I have one and only one trick that makes me good at talking in one-on-one situation, that is: to ask questions. For me, it's a good strategy because:

1. By asking questions, I show interest in my companion and I can know more about him / her.

2. My companion's answers serve as very good material to carry on the conversation and lead to more interesting questions.

3. After my companion gives his/her answer, I can tell him/her my answer as a way of exchanging info or point of view.

4. I can take the pressure of having to speak temporarily off myself and let my companion do the talking.


For me, talking one-on-one is a situation in which I can devote my attention to one person. That makes talking a lot easier for me. I know it sounds silly - in group situations, I find it really hard to make quick, clever and humorous comments, which are all that people always expect to hear.

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