Help, when is enough, enough!!??!!

[Orlander]

Well, I've posted a few times, most recently that my ex and I had sex. She moved back in town last month and we have been talking and seeing each other often.

 

This past weekend I told her I started seeing someone else. She got upset, sad and told me she "might" be falling in love with me. We were together for 4 years and broke up in August of last year. We talked last night for almost 4 hours. I told her that I might be falling in love with her again.

 

She has been saying she doesnt want to be more than friends right now for the past 6 months. She says she needs to think about us and her new found faith in God. When I ask whether she feels there might be a future for us, she always says yes.

 

She has issues with my faith and religious views. She wants me to convert, but I will not.

 

She is telling me not to wait for her. She does not want me to hurt anymore and she cannot give me a date when she will have things worked out. She is just now starting to think about these issues (she had school until now). While she is thinking about things and figuring out things she wants us to be friends and only friends.

 

I didnt say for sure that I no longer wanted to ever talk to her again, but that is where I am leaning towards. What should I do? Give her time while being her friend?? It's already been 6 months and Im still completely involved in her. What would anyone else do? NC hasnt worked well up till now and feel if there is a future with her I should stay in her life.

 

I have asked her to take a couple of days and think about what she wants from me at this point and I am taking time to think also. Any ideas would be appreciated. Thanks.

 

 

Orlander

[nikkers04]

It sounds as if you are in the same position that I am in. I dated my ex for over 2 years. He broke up with me also in August. He wanted space but wanted me to be in his life as a friend...so I stayed. Well Guess what...It didn't work just made things worse...I still love him and he still wants space. So I decided if being his friend wasn't working why not try the other extreme. I started no contact 14 days ago and I haven't heard from him...to text no email no call no nothing. yeah it hurts but this way he can see what its like with out me in his life that way he can make a better decision for him. If I'm around him all the time as his friend what is going to make him want to commit to me as he only wants to be friends but if I'm not in his life at all maybe he will realize that i'm more important to him than I thought. Maybe this same no contact would be best for you. 1 you can start moving on with your life. Its hard but trust me in the end...I'm sure it will be worth it. They will realize it or you will get over them and can be completely happy with someone else. Best of luck pm me if you need 2.

[Orlander]

Thanks nikkers. I am trying to figure out what needs to be done. I'm leaning towards NC, but I know it is going to be hard.

 

I see this as a pivotal point in my life. Do I truly stay or go? NC is fine, but what do I expect to come out of it?