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...yeah... i could use some advice.


alright.. i'll try to put this as short and simple as i can.


i was with my ex for three months... we never officially dated, but we were together. well, he ended things with me and got a new girlfriend.. i was heart-broken...but i tried to move on and i started seeing this new guy, paul... my ex's (Jim) close friend. Paul knew that i still had feelings for Jim...so he would always get pissed when i talked to him, or even sat by him.


i was happy with paul...but he's really verbally abusive and likes to pick on me and constantly put me down. i know that's wrong...and it bothered me... but i didn't really do anything about it.


well everyone always crashes at Jim's place, because he lives on his own... so i was staying there one night and paul had gone home earlier... so i was lieing in bed with Jim... just talking and he ended up pulling me up close to him and we slept by each other... we didn't do anything... but he did rub my side a couple of times.. but i never even faced him... so it wasn't anything serious.


well the next morning a couple people saw us sleeping by each other and they told Paul... which i knew was gonna happen. and he ended up calling me all sorts of names and all that other really mature stuff.. well he told me to call him when i got home and i did.


i guess NONE of my "friends" have stuck up for me over the past couple of weeks. Paul said that everyone's been telling him that i'm a wh*re and i'm using him to get Jim back... which isn't true...i swear to god i'm not that complex... well... we fought and blah blah blah.. i started crying because no one stuck up for me and Jim even told Paul that it was all me... that i did everything...even though nothing happened!


the last thing Paul said to me was "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to make you cry, i love you, call me tomorrow"


UGH! we've been together like a week and that is my biggest pet peeve... telling me you love me when you hardly know me...but now i'm not taking phone calls from anyone at Jim's house ... and i'm not going over there anymore... but it's really hard... because Paul wants me back... but i want Jim back... and don't know what the hell Jim wants... i thought he wanted me because of the way he was acting...but now i don't know.


advice would help...


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Well first thing you need to do, is end things with Paul. Why stick around withsomeone you are not even into? You said yourself you still have feelings for Jim. Sleeping in the same bed with a man you have feelings with is still a betrayal to Paul. You are not gonna get Jim back very fast if you are with another man.


Maybe there is a chance you and Jim could get back together, maybe not. Either way you need to work through those feelings and get over him before you start seeing someone new. Otherwise its not fair to the other person you are with that you still have feelings for someone else.

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The one thing I have not figured out here with this is why you would hang out with these "friends" when they treat you like dirt. I would end things with both Paul and Jim because it sounds like they are playing you. Who needs enemies when your friends treat you like crap?


Do yourself a favor and leave that PAUL NOW. I agree with the Theantibarbie that the first few months people are usually on their best behavior. If he is acting like this and it only has been a week I cannot imagine a year from now.

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after... like a week of nc... Jim moved out of the house.. and paul cried to me for like 2 hours.. we're together... but we're taking it slowly... we're not going to rush thing.. he still has doubts about me and jim ... but we've decided to let things go and start over new... he's not really calling me names anymore.. occasionally.. but that's when we're joking.. i had a serious discussion about it .. and he said he understands.. and that he's sorry.. so we're gonna try to make it work. i talked to my friends and they got their stupid information from a stupid little girl who doesn't like me.. so they all feel bad about it.. i'm just more cautious with who i trust right now....

thank you all for your advice... =)

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