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spending time with bf

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My bf has been overseas for 2 months studying and on holiday. I miss him alot. We have been going out for nearly 4 yrs now and this time apart is the longest we've had to endure.


He is coming back on saturday morning and I am unable to pick him up from the airport as I dont have the car. Instead I am going to catch up with a friend (a guy) for lunch and watch dvds at his place. I dont have feelings for this guy, he's just a friend and I think he thinks of me as 'just a friend'. I am planning on catching up with my bf later in the evening.


The thing is I feel like I'm doing something wrong, like I'm cheating or something. I feel like I should be picking him up from the airport and spending time with my bf as soon as he gets back. Am I just being stupid?

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Hmm.... so, instead of meeting your bf at the airport, you're going to be watching DVDs with some other random guy...? How would you feel if your bf did that to you?


I also say, take a shuttle, taxi, whatever to the airport. Ask a friend to drive you so you can pick him up.


I would also want to spend every second I could with my bf if I hadn't seen him in 2 months..


But, it's your decision, do what you think is right.

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The reason you feel like you're doing something wrong is because you know it doesn't seem right; that's because it isn't.


Wouldn't you be upset if your boyfriend didn't come see you the first chance he got after not being together for 2 months?


Not only are you not making every effort to see him, you are ditching him for another guy. Granted, you are "just friends" but how hurtful is it that you put someone who is "just a friend" before someone you are dating and love?


There are friends, there are taxis, there are shuttles, there are numerous ways to go get him at the airport if you really wanted to see him.


My question is, why aren't you making all the effort to go see him?

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unconsciously you want to make him jealous, and create potential opportunities for yourself, as you are unsure if he has cheated on you while away.


the best way to keep him is to go and sex him as soon as he gets back.


Wow...um...ok? I do have to ask though, are you worried about him having been unfaithful while away? I asked you before why it was that you were not making every effort to go see him, is this why?

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If my boyfriend did not meet me up at the airport after even a week ago because he went to watch movies with another girl instead......I think he would learn pretty quick what it felt like to truly miss me! And he is there...he has picked me up at odd hours, and I do same for him. Mine goes away for three days, and I miss him and can't wait to see him....and will either be at the airport waiting for him or if I really can't be, will be there as soon as he gets home!


Sorry, I don't understand why after two months apart, you would not meet him there, or if he is getting a cab home, meet him at home?


I think it's pretty underhanded and disrespectful to put another guy (or girl, whomever) even if they are just a "friend" (I don't think he thinks that) before the person you love and have not seen in two months.


Have you told your boyfriend your plans?

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I think that's a really really bad idea. It's the day you boyfriend comes back, and you're spending it watching movies at some other guy's house...? That is just a really bad idea in so many ways. He could break up with you over that one, so unless you WANT him to break up with you, which I think is what a lot of people would consider doing in such a case, then you should cancel on this guy and go get a cab or go with whoever it is that's going to be picking up your boyfriend. Or be waiting at his house, not be at some other guy's house watching movies with him!

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If there's no possible way for you to pick him up, then there's nothing you can do about that. However, if after 2 months of being away, I would be upset if my boyfriend went to hang out with another girl instead of me. Aren't you dying to see him, isn't he dying to see you? If not, then I sort of think that there's a problem with the relationship..


Obviously you need to do what you think is important. 2 months is a long time. You might have been in contact for those 2 months, but you still missed out a lot on each other's lives. In my opinion, it's more important to catch up with the guy you love rather than watch dvds with this other guy.


But then again (and I don't really feel this way) it's already been 2 months, what's another few hours?

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I just read your other post and that completely changes a lot in your situation. Maybe you have been enjoying your freedom of being "single",and you don't look forward to being attached again.


Whatever the case, you need to decide what you want. It's not fair to keep him dragging along while you decide if you want to be with him. Usually being apart makes people really miss that other person and wanting to see them right away, but it doesn't seem like you are getting those feelings.


4 years is a long time to spend with someone you don't see yourself with forever. After 4 years, relationships are very serious. It is kind of a waste of time to be attached to somebody for so long when you don't want to be forever.. Does he have any idea how you feel?

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