Healing from unrequited love

[unicornq]

Hi, these days I've been trying to heal myself from unrequited love. Although I'd say I have gain a good control of my emotions, I admit it gets really hard at times. (It's especially frustrating when I realize that every day after I wake up, the FIRST thought is my crush...)

 

To make a long story short, the current situation is this: Classes ended last month and it's unlikely for me to see my crush again. We have each other's contact info, but only exchanged email once since class ended.

 

Sometimes the emptiness is so deep that it haunts me and interferes with what I do. While I understand I cannot really do anything about it, I'm still quite bothered by the negative feeling.

 

Yesterday, I know from a friend that I may have chance to see my crush again in a coming gathering that may take place a month or so later. And things take a sudden positive turn - I no longer feel low and have actually started feeling a bit energetic. Although I don't want to admit how silly this is, I cannot deny that having the chance to see my crush again makes everything alright again. This may be a temporary "painkiller" for me to stop the negative feelings, but makes me realize at the same time that I cannot lose my crush or stay clear away altogether... which is frustrating...

[unicornq]

Thanks for your feedback.

 

Trust me, the way you're thinking is a recipe for heartache. Your moods are based on someone else. Since we have no control over someone else, this just causes frustration and pain.

 

This is exactly what is bothering me. Although we don't see each other regularly now, I find certain part of my emotions are still dependent upon my crush.

 

So have you ever shown this person you're interested?

 

I haven't explicitly done so. But I did befriend my crush a lot thorugh chatting and emailing when we were in the same class. I also gave a small goodbye gift and a card (without personalized message). I guess my crush may have sensed that I have feelings. The last time we met we had a very good friendly chat and said keep in touch. I think my crush may want to stay friends or is just being polite by acting kind. I think I'm unrequited because I don't feel an equal footing in this "friendship". It's always me who initiated contact (albeit my crush's feedback is positive).

[unicornq]

Sheyda, thanks a lot for sharing your experience and giving advice on healing. Really appreciated it! Couldn't help but agree that sometimes we could be blinded by love to make good sense of the situation. And if I can't gain a friend, at least I know hopefully I can learn something from my experience.

 

But oops... this time my friends rely on me to do the contact for the gathering - which means I must email my crush to ask about joining the gathering. And this has put some stress on me though I know I shouldn't take things personal as it is a group gathering, not one-on-one, I'm still afraid my crush will think I'm making up excuses to meet again... Because of this, I have emailed all but my crush...