Deeply hurt, need to recover

[unmenomore]

This may not be the best forum, but I thought I'd post here becuase, I need to heal emotionally. The thing is I met this guy some time ago, and really really felt a connection, and sparks. Well, I slept with him, and I was a virgin. I don't regret sleeping with him, the whole event was beautiful and meaningful to me. I don't go around sleeping around, as I said I was a virgin, and I swore I had found the "right guy". Well, I guess he was just looking for a one night stand because I never heard from him again! The problem is I still can't forget him, and its been a little over a year. I would like some closure, but at the same time, I feel hurt, I am just a mess, and I compare other guys I meet to this guy. I'm really tired of wasting my time and my energy thinking about this guy, but he was my first, and it just hurts so much. I know I shouldn't have trusted him so soon, but hey, it just happened, and like i said, no regrets, other than not hearing from him again. Any Suggestions for me? How can I stop myself from thinking of him?

[Life101]

Believe it or not your first or majority of other peoples first for that matter, aren't what they were expected out to be. When you met him, you probably thought he was the one you wanted to give your virginity to...atleast subconsiously...cuz if you didnt then you wouldnt have slept with him.

 

But the fact remains that we picture our partners in our perspectives which is NOT good. You should always step back to look at the full picture(how u ask? ur friends, ur parents, ne one who isnt involved in a relationship, ask them!!) and sometimes the answer you get isnt the one you want to hear. and it sucks! my first was with someone i loved even though this person was the perfect opposite of my ideal partner but she got me some how, but i bounced back, thats how life is, it will kick you where it hurts so much that eventually u need to fight back or u'll be a mess.

I really hope you start feeling better because it will eat u inside..remember NO one can make you happy but yourself! don't judge everyone as if they had something to do with ur past! sorry for long post!

[friscodj]

I think you should try to contact him. Maybe you could have a talk and see what happened and maybe you could at least be friends. Maybe he has been thinking about you too. Who knows, maybe he got scared and ran away. I think an answer would at least help with your closure. If you can't reach him or he doesn't want to talk, you've got to press on with your life and keep the experience as a fond memory.

 

Hope something I said helped you in some way!

[unmenomore]

thanks! you are right, I need to be happy with myself and I do need to move on. The problem is that after so long of waiting, i thought I had found someone meaningful, and now Its back to waiting for the right person again. Anyway, I appreciate your advice! I welcome any other advice you or anyone else want to give.

[friscodj]

The problem is that after so long of waiting, i thought I had found someone meaningful, and now Its back to waiting for the right person again.

 

I think maybe a better perspective is to find or do things that make you happy, make you feel alive, that you really enjoy and look at it as "living your life to fullest" rather than "waiting for the right person". Life is not a waiting room. Sometimes it is surprising what happens when you least expect it.

[unmenomore]

thanks! you are right. I will try but its hard ](*,)

[friscodj]

thanks! you are right. I will try but its hard ](*,)

 

Easier said than done I know...like a lot of things after a break up...