get the feeling I will never love again after my ex.

[settinuplife]

Hi, It has been such a rollercoaster w/my ex and I over the past year and a half, that was how long ago we broke up. We still talk and she will flirt w/me when we see each other which isn't often and she will call me everyday even though she is seeing someone else and they have had a very rocky relationship. She says she's still love's me and is still in love w/me, and sometimes she will even say she wants to be w/me, but doesn't move past that and actually break up her relationship for me.

But then she will make up some excuse to why she cannot be w/me.

 

Then we will fight and have arguments about stupid stuff and not talk for days, maybe weeks.

 

I am still soo inlove w/this girl and dont want anyone else at all, ever! I am so afraid I will never want anyone but her. It is like no one will ever compare to her no matter who I find.

 

Has anyone else felt this way and what was the longest it has lasted?

[DN]

If you look up from studying the murky depths of this past relationship for a very slim chance of a reconciliation you would notice that the world is passing you by - and in that world are many, many women with whom you could have a loving partnership.

 

You can't get past a relationship if you don't get moving.

[Dako]

Settinguplife,

It seemed like yesterday I felt the same way. My ex defined love for me.

Today, 5 months later, I think I may someday have a chance at finding someone.

 

It sounds like you're going through hell. I honestly think your contact with your ex is unhealthy for you. In fact she may be cruelly manipulating you for her own selfish entertainment but you can't see it through those love goggles. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I'd recommend avoiding contact for good.

[friscodj]

I can relate to your description of a roller-coaster relationship (see my post). It is pretty clear to me that this woman is using you. You are her "safety net" it sounds. More importantly, it sounds like it is really bothering you. My advice is to have a serious, candid heart-to-heart with her. Really plan out what you want to ask her, why she says what she says and does what she does. Go from there.

 

Let me ask you, how old are you and she? It seems you have plenty of time to find love again, a love which actually makes you feel good about yourself! You've got to stop this situation. A year and a half is a long time. Love yourself too.

[dogheadma]

You should break off contact with this person. Your relationship with her is unhealthy. From what you're saying, she dosen't respect you and you will never be able to move on until you stop having any kind of contact with her. I am speaking from experience. I was in the same situation and felt exactly as you do but I knew I had to stop all contact in order to move on. It took me a year and it was painful but I was able to find myself again and close that chapter and move on with my life. It's the healthy thing to do and you will be much better off in the long run.

[yelloemail]

yes, i have felt the same exact way before. it took me some time maybe about a year before i was even interested in dating someone else. yes, i feel in love again. not a happy ending though, it didn't work out... that was my fault though i dated the wrong men. but, my point being, i did love again and my life did move on!

[settinuplife]

I am 27 and she is 22. I have done NC with her for 2 mos. last Spring then she crept back in my life, like she always does. She ALWAYS comes around. I would give anything to find someone that I like more than her and that is more special. I usually never initiate talk w/her, it is always her who spills her feelings about me. She is a perfect description of a very confused girl.