He Found Me

[HellFrost666]

I am not really sure where to put this...

 

When I met my girlfriend she was married to a cheating, abusive man. (I use the word man here because the word I want to use would be censored.) Long story short, now she is away from him and with me. Since her ex thought it was ok to cheat as long as he was honnest, she told him she had cheated, but she never told him who with.

 

Well today I got an email from her ex. He says he found out from someone he works with. I do know a few people who work where he works, but I don't know him personally. The message wasn't threatening, but it was strange. He basically said "So you are the one who stole her away from me... ... ..." it goes on and on, but it can be summed up in that one sentance.

 

Honnestly I think the whole thing is pretty petty at this point. My girlfriend and I are leaving the country for two weeks on Friday and I don't really know how (or have the time) to deal with him right now.

[darkblue]

Did you cheat with her?

[LostInMyThoughts]

You didn't ask for any advice, but one thing to consider is that your partner cheated on her husband. How can you be sure that she won't cheat on you?

 

Just food for thought.

[BellaDonna]

I don't think you should have to "deal" with him at all. Ignore his e-mail completely. Don't give him the pleasure of a response. You know very well you didnt' steal her away from him. She was an adult and made her own decisions. His abusive behavior drove her away. He is clearly still in the immature delusional stage of an abuser, where he's blaming everyone but himself (the real problem)- so he can't be reasoned with anyways. He's just looking to start trouble. I think you should block his e-mail address all together. If he pursues you further- by phone, in person, or through a new e-mail address- file a no contact order against him. Hopefully your GF has already done the same.

 

The fact that you are leaving the country for a couple of weeks is convenient in timing.

 

BellaDonna

[BellaDonna]

one thing to consider is that your partner cheated on her husband. How can you be sure that she won't cheat on you?

 

Although I don't think cheating is ever really "right" or warranted- if she was abused by her husband- she may have been trapped in the marriage out of fear. She may have already despised him and considered herself apart from him, and not really a part of the marriage. With his cheating and abuse to her- he already violated the marriage vows so she probably distanced herself emotionally until the time was right and she felt safe enough, and able enough to get a divorce.

 

 

BellaDonna

[HellFrost666]

Did you cheat with her?

No, I was single, she cheated on him with me.

 

You didn't ask for any advice, but one thing to consider is that your partner cheated on her husband. How can you be sure that she won't cheat on you?

 

Just food for thought.

This has been gone over and over again with a fine tooth comb on this forum. Read my passed posts if you don't believe me. And no, I don't think she will cheat on me, because I treat her like she should be treated.

 

Although I don't think cheating is ever really "right" or warranted- if she was abused by her husband- she may have been trapped in the marriage out of fear. She may have already despised him and considered herself apart from him, and not really a part of the marriage. With his cheating and abuse to her- he already violated the marriage vows so she probably distanced herself emotionally until the time was right and she felt safe enough, and able enough to get a divorce.

 

 

BellaDonna

 

Tha is pretty much how it was. It should be said that I was the agressor with her.

 

She has a no contact order against him, now I'll have to do that too.

 

And yes, it is a convenient time to leave the country.