Confused

[cloversbaby]

I was working with a friend who i grew to admire. She is 46 and i am 35. When we worked together she would always rub my shoulders, grab my hand, or blow a kiss. When i would get her something to drink she would always be sure that she touched my hand. A co worker of ours said i think she likes you. I just laughed. Then one time i was at her house visiting her and her HUSBAND and she was always hugging me, calling me baby and then she gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. I am confused Does she like me or is she just a big flirt? PLEASE HELP??????????!!!!!!

[novaseeker]

That certainly sounds like more than just flirtation, but in any case she is married, so I would recommend leaving it at that.

[Vanilla]

yeah i would back away from that one...she is married and i'd just keep my distance

[cloversbaby]

Well my only problem is that i can not get her out of my mind. I have never had these feelings for another woman and it scares me. I go to sleep dreaming about her and i wake up thinking about her. Sometimes i do not know how to read her because there are times she calls me baby/babe and times she calls me "mija" which is spanish kind word a mother calls a daughter. This is why i am confused as far as her actions are concerned especially since i have never been in this situatioin before. I don't know-i guess i will just throw in the towel.

[novaseeker]

Getting involved with someone who is married is not a good idea for many reasons, and it would be best to not follow up on this flirting under these particular circumstances.

[Tigris]

My advise is you talk to her and ask her exactly what is going on?

 

Tell her it makes you uncomfortable or better still tell her the truth and tell her you're confused.

 

Did she hug you etc., in front of her husband? If the answer is 'Yes' then what was his reaction?

 

Could it be possible they like threesomes?

 

Whatever's going on make sure it's what you want and don't let yourself be persuaded otherwise.

 

Take care.

[mgirl]

Yeah, i am getting the idea that they want a threesome. In these situations, the wife or female partner is often the scout for another women, but some of the time, it is actually the women who wants a bit of girl-on-girl action.

 

You have to do what makes you feel right. If you want to pursue a physical relationship with her, then do it, but realise that she is married and that you will probably be the one that is hurt in the end.

 

I am not sure what is going on with the attraction and why you are suddenly attracted to a woman when you haven't been before. Perhaps you are enjoying the attention. It sounds to me that she definitely likes you in some way, which could be a combination of motherly love and sensual attraction. It is definitely not 'normal' behaviour to massage somebody and touch them in the workplace.

 

Regardless, i would do as Tigris suggested and approach her directly. In my experience with these things, you will never get an answer just guessing and it can be really unhealthy to keep devising fantasies or reasons about what is happening.

 

You could say in a playful way, one day when she is flirting with you, "do you like me or something" and take it from there.

 

I guess the good news, judging by your post, is that you are prepared to let it go.

 

Just keep going with the friendship and see what issues pop up. If need be, you always have the impetus to ask her.

[Prufrock06]

Like everyone else, I agree that she's doing more than just flirting with you. However, whatever you decide to do, I'd be very cautious about how you handle it. My honest opinion: she's married -- so until she's divorced or separated she's off limits, regardless of the fact that she's the one making the advances. I understand if the affection is really flattering, but these kinds of situations, when a spouse is involved, are always more stressful and problematic than they're worth.